


Hopeless

by Cakie



Category: Homestuck
Genre: F/F, F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-06-27
Updated: 2012-11-24
Packaged: 2017-11-08 15:56:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 6
Words: 26,283
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/444888
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cakie/pseuds/Cakie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is my first submission to the archive so I hope you like it! This takes place in a sort of AU where the game has been interrupted and everyone was forced to flee onto a meteor for safety. They start to build up their accommodations for an extended stay and tempers are already flaring. I'll also add pairings as they appear, and some will be taken away as they proceed to not happen.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Meteor

**Author's Note:**

> I'll be working to improve this story and feel free to point out any mistakes or flaws I've made. This story will also hold a few of my headcanons so feel free to disagree with them and tell me yours! I hope you all enjoy it! :3
> 
> ALSO I accidentally deleted the entire story instead of just one chapter...eheh still getting the hang of this site. Sorry but here it is again! :P

Your name is Eridan Ampora. Currently you have busied yourself with polishing the lavish gems that adorn your rings. How you could have let them get so filthy is beyond you. You blame spending so much time on the surface. The jewels aren't used to such dry climates. Dust literally swims through the air around you. Every breath you take feels thick and riddled with filth. You yearn for the days when you and Feferi could swim all day on Alternia, not a care in the world. Some land dweller aggravations excluded. Much to your dismay you can never return to your home. Your beautiful underwater hive shall never again bubble from your sighs or light up by the swish of your vibrant cape. No, everything is gone now. You can never go back. Due to circumstances you are trying your best to repress you, and your entire crew of alien oddities, are stuck on a meteor. Not the same one as the one you hid on during the game, but it was similar. They're both me teors after all. Meteors aren't all that different. Along with the twelve trolls you are sharing residence with the four humans have also tagged along, what with them not having a planet anymore either. Through the group's hard work and impressive architectural knowledge they managed to build a hive for you all to stay. Every day your friends toil away to expand your accommodations to maximize comfort. Currently you believe Karkat is working with Sollux to build a computer room, where you all can station and repair communicative technology. You haven't been on Trollian in so long. Your fingers itch and ache with a dull reminiscent urge to troll someone, possibly Feferi. She hasn't spoken to you in a while. Maybe you could beg her for forgiveness. She couldn't run away if she was staring right at your fully typed apology. Now you just needed a computer. There was hope that one of your comrades had one packed away before the incident. You rise from your uncomfortable seat on a jagged meteor rock, flipping your cape out of your way to stride into your hive. You pass John Egbert by but the boy doesn't take notice of your presence, or he just didn't feel up to greeting you. The poor human hasn't been the same since- no. Repress. It never happened. You feel your face contort and scrunch up with effort to keep your mind from lingering. Thankfully Dave Strider walks past you to chat with his friend giving you a useful distraction.

"Hey Davve do you knoww wwhere I could find a computer in this mess?" You ask. He doesn't look back, or even dignify your question with a response.

"Hey John I scrounged up some eats for ya'." He says, gently so as not to startle the boy. His efforts are in vain because John jolts upright, his once still body beginning to shake like a frightened woofbeast. It was pathetic.

"Ahem, I ain't gettin' any younger here Davve. Tell me wwhere I can find a stupid computer or givve me your shades." You insist, wanti ng to get out of their hair as soon as possible. You didn't have time for John's theatrics when Feferi could be going offline at any moment.

"Go away douchefin I'm tryin' to get John to eat." He says, crouching beside John with a plate of small morsels of bread and fruit. John shakes his head slowly and brings his legs up onto his perch atop the stone, clasping his arms around his shins to enclose himself in their security.

"He doesn't evven wwant to eat just leavve him alone. I'm havvin' a serious problem here an' it's a the utmost urgency!" Dave turns his head slightly. You can see the sharp edge of his glare from between the gap between his shades and his face.

"Go troll someone else asshole I'm helping my bro." He says. The even, monotone voice he speaks in makes you shiver especially when you can clearly see the anger flaring in his dilated pupils. He tries again to lift the plate to John's face but the boy just blows him off and buries his face into his knees.

"He ain't goin' to eat that shit. Don't wwaste wwhat little food wwe got on him." You scold, knowing that food could go to Karkat or Sollux, someone who was actually helping to build their home and not free loading on a rock soaking up the attention like a sponge. Dave seems to tense, muscles flexing under his suit but he turns his face back to John to try and force his head up and get some bread through the gap in his teeth. You give up on trying to reason with the moron, turning around and stalking off to find some other means of assistance. You pass by the Rose human and Kanaya but seeing the intimacy of their interwoven fingers and the cautious glances shot your way you were probably interrupting something. Turning into a corridor lined with crudely placed supporting blocks you spot a wispy flick of pastels retreating down the end of the hall. It makes your chest clench. A mixture of guilt and longing swims into your mind, now battling it out within you r nub for what you'll do next. You hardly have time for the two forces to battle it out and so you run down the hallway.

"Fef!" You call, hoping she hears you so she'll stop and you can begin your lengthy apology. You nearly trip going around the corner, ankles crossing in your haste to turn. Instead you stumble forward, one hand smacking into the wall to support you while the other reaches out and curves over the jutting edge of a collar bone.

"Thanks Fe-" Upon looking up you see it isn't your long lost moirail but her good for nothing matesprit, Sollux. He seems to notice the scowl painted over your look of gratitude because he returns it, shoving you back from him roughly.

"Watch where you're going dipthit!" He growls through his crooked fangs. You couldn't tell before that his teeth were askew but now that you were up close you noticed the minor mistakes made while regrowing his teeth.

"Howw about you fuckin' stay out a my wway lowwblood!" You s nap back, in no mood for his antagonistic mood swings. You try to walk past him only to be yanked back by the collar of your cape. The connecting chain chokes you and causes you to emit a less than noble 'hurgh!'. You whirl around and slap his filthy hand from your cape, the muscles tracing your jaw and cheeks flex and twitch with irritation.

"Hands off a the cape pissblood!" He curls his lips over his sharp fangs and you can see the light yellow scars peeking out from under his gums.

"How about you fucking appologith for bumping into me athhole!" He stands before you, obviously expecting the demanded apology but the only words of pleading and remorse you'd utter today were reserved for Feferi and you did not have enough humility in you to share with the likes of him.

"Suck it up, Sol I fell." You justify your mistake, not seeing a need to apologize for an accident. You try again to leave but a burning flash of red pulls your shoulder and slams you back i nto a wall. Before you can struggle an uncomfortably warm tingling slithers onto your other shoulder, pinning both back.

"Sol, wwhat the fuck? I think I heard the wwall fuckin' crack!" You warn him, recalling that this section of the wall was weaker than most of the others. You were there when Aradia was drawing out the plans. They had yet to fortify it. Sollux didn't answer, ominously standing in front of you with energy leaking out from under his shades. "Sol?" You try to lift your head higher to see what was wrong with Sollux but the tingling warmth crawls up your neck and snaps your head down to stare at the ground.

"Quit looking tho fucking high and mighty!" He growls. You see his white and black shoes step into your line of sight, knowing he was standing in front of you. Painful sparks danced under your chin and hoisted it up, though you admirably tried to defy him by looking him right in the face and not shying away like some meek little lowblood.

"It's first nature, bein' royalty an' all." You shoot back. "Wwhat is your fuckin' problem anywways? I got to talk to Fef so just get lost! I'm sure Kar needs you to-" You can't finish because your lips are burning, clamping shut with needles stabbing pain into them. The rest of your words are muffled into incomprehensible groans until you concede and go silent.

"You thtay away from FF. The hath enough to worry about. You thouldn't even be here after what you did two her, two uth!" You can feel the rage wafting in on his breath as it puffs against your nose. You groan ruefully when he brings that time up. The obscenities you try and bark at him die at the tightly sealed gates of your lips. You can't even explain that you only mean to apologize.

"Thut up." He whispers though it's too quiet, too dark to be directed at you. The pins wind their way up your face, singeing the inside of your nose. A sharp stabbing against your eyes forces them shut and keeps them that way.

"You inthuferable douthbag. Alwayth thinking you're tho high above everyone elth. How doeth it feel to be powerleth? How doeth it feel to be under the power of a pithblood like me? Bet it burnth your princely pride." You feel Sol's breath mist over your face, practically able to feel venom and loathing that puffed against your face. You try to struggle, to open your mouth to shout, or your eyes to resist this enraging insult to your social standing. Any sort of ground you could pull over him would be better than being left helpless. His grip is too strong on you though, the energy holding you is too prepared for you to escape. There is a pressure on your chest. It isn't warm like his psionics. It's cold but not painful. It slides up to your neck, squeezing your scarf under its fingers but only briefly as if it had contemplated strangling you but thought better of it. You try to hold yourself tall. You try to puff out your chest and lift your chin, proud d espite your situation. At your insistent defiance Sollux growls. Your body is yanked forward and swiftly brought to a stop. Your stomach churns weakly with anxiety and mild motion sickness. The static leaves your lips, retreating back to rest over your eyes.

"Fuck Sol let me go!!" You cry immediately after you realize you can speak again.

"Where are your thcarth?" He asks, his voice quiet but so close to your hearing ducts that it didn't matter. The pressure on your neck slid down your chest again, curiously pressing fingers against the curves of your skin. Your body contrasts between the burning psionics and the chills Sollux's fingers provoke.

"Scars?" You ask, swallowing a heavy lump curling up your throat. Your entire body is slammed into the wall and you take note of the soft crumbling sound behind you but you have enough sense not to bring it up when Sollux might very well make your head explode.

"Don't play dumb Ampora! You can't honethtly exthpect me to believe you got out of that without a thingle wound! Or are you juth tho fucking privileged that you didn't get hurt?" Repress.

Repress.

_Repress._

"Don't ignore me! Fucking **lithen!** " He shouts. The sparks leap from your eyes, bringing them open. Barely inches from your face you are met with the red and blue globes leaking psionics, glasses perched carelessly down on Sollux's nose. It makes your heart stop cold for a moment in pure shock. They're rimmed with black and white. Remnants of his past blindness that couldn't fully heal.

"I will never forgive you. The thecond perthon in my life to ever bring me happineth and you rip her from me. You murder her right before my eyeth out of thome petty jealouthy. How dare you try and talk to her again after what you did." His voice is cold, hard and vengeful.

"I wwas goin to apologiz-"

"Ath if you could ever make amenth for what you did!" He interrupts, hands slamming into the wall behind you. You were never uncomfortable with enclosed spaces before but suddenly, being held down with his arms walling you inside was making you feel more than slight ly claustrophobic.

"You killed her! You betrayed uth! You abandoned your friendth!" Your head is throbbing. Your chest aches and swells with pangs of hatred, hating yourself for what you did. Hating everything. What you did. No stop. Stop. Stop!

"Stop it. Let me go." You say, struggling against the wavering in your voice to sound forceful.

"Whatth wrong? Don't want to hear about how badly you fucked up? Don't like hearing you're not perfect?"

"So-"

"SOLLUX!" You dart your gaze over Sollux's shoulder. Your stomach lurches at the proud and beautifully irritated princess standing in the hall. "Let Eridan go!" She shouts. To your surprise Sollux hesitates. He curls his head down, mumbling something that seemed to parrot what Feferi had just commanded. You feel the angry sparks leave your body and you drop ever so slightly to your feet. You hadn't even noticed you had been off them. Sollux pulls his hands back from the wall but otherwise makes no mo ves away or towards you. Swallowing back the paranoid fear you have that he may lunge out to grab you, you slide around him and trot over to Feferi's side.

"Thanks Fef! That wwas almost unfortunate...heh so anywways I wwanted to apologize for-"

"Eridan, just go." She says in a quiet, but dangerously commanding voice. You hesitate, trying once again to blurt out your apology.

"I just feel like shit for wwhat I did an' I still wwant us to be friends..." She lets you finish this time though her condescending glare makes you edit your lengthy apology into something that leaves you longing to keep talking, to keep explaining until she understands the depths of how shitty you feel. You suddenly realize you haven't said the most important word of all. In your nervousness you had neglected to actually say sorry. You slip it in after a very awkward moment of silence. "Sorry." Feferi just stands there. She doesn't say anything, or do anything besides stare at you. S tare at you with eyes brimming with disappointment and anger. It makes you feel even worse, which before now you would have thought impossible. You were such a bottom feeding scumgrub. Sollux clears his throat behind you, the silence has been going on for too long and now it's beyond awkward.

"Fef...please...say somethin'" You beg, noticing an unusual ripple in the gentle waves of your voice. This was terrifying you. Feferi finally moves, heaving her chest up to sigh.

"Eridan, you murdered me out of your shellfish jealousea. You abandoned us and after what you did to land us here...I can't forgive you." Her words seep into your dry, irritated gills, scalding their way up into your chest and corroding your throat with acidic bile.

"B-but Fef...please i'm different noww. Just givve me another chance!" You beg, trying to cling to the life preserver drifting just barely out of your reach. You feel like you'll drown without her, which is an alien and horrifyin g feeling.

"Eridan, the only reason you're still with us is that you woke up here and we all still have some sort of compassion towards you, nothing more. We don't have the heart to throw you to the sharks even though you just sit there and do nothing." A bitter jolt twists into her words, as if she truly finds your presence a nuisance.

"No wway fef...I totally help! I supervvised the buildin' plans!" You defend, trying not to believe what she has just set before you. The ugly truth flapping and squirming at your feet, stinking up everything.

"You are too lazy to help Sollux and Karkat build onto our hive, you refuse to go out and collect material. All you do is sit around and mope and frankly Eridan I'm sick of it!" You open your mouth to bring up John and his totally useless state but you stop. You pause and think about how Feferi would react to you badmouthing John. Even you could admit he had it bad. An impatient grunt behind you strengthens your resolv e to stay quiet, you didn't need Sollux on your case either. Suddenly you're angry. Suddenly Feferi's scornful lecture starts to bubble in your mind. The pressure's building inside your nub and it feels just about ready to burst. Out of thoughtless and foolish rage you growl. You practically snarl at the heiress and your old moirail.

"Wwhat do you knoww about me? You don't knoww a fuckin thin! Don't go ravvin on about howw i'm such a nooksucking bastard wwhen you don't evven fuckin understand! Howw dare you?!" You whirl around and flip your cape behind you as you do. You feel a light tug as if she had batted the fabric away but you didn't care if you had just smacked her with your cape. You don't care if you had just yelled at the only person who ever cared about you. She hated you now. If you were going to be alone, so be it. You lift your chin high with pride and shove past Sollux when he tries to confront you about lashing out. You just won't care. You swiftly make your exit, wanting to find a nice dark corner to hide in.

** > Be the royally pissed off heiress.**

Eridan just yelled at you. He has yelled at you before but never like that. Before it was just anger without a real porpoise. He'd spout nonsense and overreact about something. This time he genuinely seemed hurt. Like what you said reely hurt him. Without that stupid air of princely grubshit around him. Sollux comes to your side, glaring as Eridan storms out with his head held high. You know him though. You know him well enough to know that Eridan Ampora is about as proud as clam coated in gold and that his golden shell is the part everyone hates about him. You turn to Sollux, seeing the confusion as your expression is no less scolding than it was with Eridan.

"What were you doing to Eridan, Sollux?" You ask, ignoring the tug at your blood muscle when Sollux guiltily turns his head downwards.

"I am thorry FF...I jutht got tho angry...I kept hearing the voiceth...telling me to do thingth." He said. Even now you could hear the strain it put on him just to ke ep still and speak to you. You reach out and gently hold Sollux's face, lifting it up out of his shame.

"You're hearing the voices again?" You ask, wondering if it was the same voices or not. He nods. His crooked fangs dig into his bottom lip, which you know he does when he feels bad. "Want to talk about it?" He nods again and you lead him over to Gamzee's horn pile. For once you are thankful that the clown troll always has a disturbing number of horns on him at all times.

** > Be the clown troll.**

You are only sharing your point of view for a very brief explanation on your mental state of being. You are not ok. It has been too long since you've had a slime pie. After your break down you thought you'd be alright. You thought Karkat's shoosh papping would calm you enough not to need the slime, but recent stress has also brought past addictions to light. You're relapsing. You know it's garbage. You know it's rotten acidic sludge but you need it. These thoughts you're having. You can't control the rage sometimes. And their heads look so weak. So loosely attached to their necks. You could just pop them off, like a dandelion. The walls are so bland. So devoid of colour. Why not paint them? Paint them with the motherfucking colours of the rainbow.

** > Be the proud prince.**

You walk briskly into the main hall, noticing John still curled up on his dumb rock, quivering from the slightest bump. You don't have time to spare any pity. You notice Equius and Nepeta carrying large blocks of meteor rock in through the door. Equius, of course, looks like he is fairing just fine but Nepeta seems to be struggling with her load. It seems just a bit too hefty for her small size. You would normally pass them by without a second thought but Feferi and Sollux's words echo in your mind. You decide to help. You walk over to Nepeta and slide your hands under the boulder she's carrying, trying to lift it right from her arms. You feel resistance when she looks at you.

"Givve me the rock, i'll carry it for you." You say, trying to lift it again. Nepeta holds onto it still, backing away from your hold.

"I don't need your help. Go away." She says.

"Don't be so fuckin' stubborn. Wwe can get this done faster if you just givve it to me." You insist , now lifting it up to scoop it right out from her arms.

"I can handle myself!" She growls and pulls the rock back.

"Stop, both of you. This is no way to be acting over a boulder. If you wish Eridan you may have mine." Equius chimes in, boarder lining on auspice.

"I don't wwant your stupid rock Eq. Stay out a this, lowwblood!" You snap, too busy trying to wrestle the rock from Nepeta's hands to care about your insult.

"How dare you talk to Equius like that?!" Nepeta lets go of the rock at last but without any warning to your end. You fall back, having been prepared to pull more. You land on your princely bottom and the rock flies over your head and smashes on the floor.

"Look at wwhat you did nep! You fuckin broke it!" You get up and brush yourself down. Your pride is miserably bruised.

"Me?! You wouldn't let go of the rock!"

"I wwas tryin to help! Fuck can't I be nice an help out the less fortunate?" Nepeta let's out a dangerous r umble, fingers twitching uncomfortably close to extending her claws.

"I didn't ask fur your help!" Equius proceeds to stand between the two of you, boulder settled on his right shoulder.

"Stop. Nepeta you will cease any further arguing with the seadweller."

"My name is Eridan fuckin Ampora! I'm your fuckin prince an soon to wwipe out all a you landwwellers!" You yell, clenching your jaw and grinding your fangs together to quell your rage. Before anyone can say anything else to mock you, you storm to the front door and throw it open. Then you scream.


	2. Getting Settled

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The meteor has crashed and now it's time to fix up their friends and find out just where the hell they've all ended up. Expect shenanigans, buckets, and screaming.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here's the jerk of a chapter that made me almost lose this story. Finally got it done! XD

** > Be the fuckass with anger issues.**

You find that introduction offensive and by your noble friendleader status, demand it be changed.

** > Be the fuckass with anger issues who isn't getting a better introduction. **

Fuck you.

Your name is Karkat Vantas for those that couldn't tell from such a descriptive prompt. You are all alone, piling blocks up into a tower. Normally this tower would have some sort of structural purpose but you don't have Sollux with you to shape the damn column properly. That lazy wrigglerfondler is probably canoodling with Feferi in their goddamned horn pile of feelings and idle banter. Where is he when you need him? This wall won't fortify itself. Previously he had told you to take a break but a break wouldn't get this room in working fashion. A break wouldn't get to hooking up hubtops and finding salvation from this hellhole of a meteor. No, it would not. Fuck breaks right in their dripping soggy wriggler nook. Unlike SOME trolls you are actually focused on work.

** > Enough whining. Go find Sollux. **

You think that is a fan-fucking-tastic idea. Also, you weren't whining. You set out to go find your scrawny partner in construction. As you pass the main hall you catch the end of a seemingly nasty dispute between Captain Douchidan Amfucker and Nepeta with Equius possibly posing as Auspice. The fishy one then proceeds to storm to the front door and scream bloody murder upon opening it. A screechy, unpleasant shrill cry of terror. You rush forward to investigate but are thrown back into a nearby wall. The entire building is shaken and rocked to its very foundation and you pray to your beautiful romcoms that your hive holds strong. A sudden crash launches you forward. You slide across the harsh, jagged, stone floor and tumble out the front door with Eridan leading the way. Screams are whipped away into the air as you proceed to fall into the unmerciful depths of space. That is, until you hit the ground. It takes you a moment to regain your sense of self and another to will your eyes open. You're staring up at a brilliant violet sky, fluffy white clouds lazily floating overhead. For a moment you just lay there, basking in the beautiful serenity of the landscape that was no doubt a dream. Or at least you thought it was until Eridan came running over. 

"Kar! Kar are you alright? Oh god you aren't dead are you?" No way this was a dream with Ampora there.  
You glare at him with only the most refined and practiced you're-a-fucking-moron look. 

"Yes, asshole. I'm dead. What you see before you is a figment of your own pompous, overly inflated think pan conjured from nub trauma suffered when you were dropped as a wriggler by a negligent lusus." He actually pauses to wonder if you're serious or not before helping you get up.  


"You'vve been spendin' too much time wwith the humans. Wwe got to sum up the damage." Unfortunately Eridan was right, though before helping your friends you both stop to look around at where your meteor settled down. It was insane how breathtakingly perfect everything looked.

** > Be the injured Psiisonic. **

You don't know what just happened. One second you were talking to Feferi, just letting out all of your frustrations and laughing at her cute little fish puns and the next you're flying off of the horn pile, an angry symphony of honks comically narrating your impact into a wall. You vaguely recall hitting your head. What happened to the lights? Everything is dark. Now that you're focusing you hear a loud ringing in your ears. You call out to Feferi. Your own voice sounds like it's drowning underwater. You call again, no reply. Why is it so dark? You're afraid now. What happened? Was Feferi ok? Why was it so dark? You vocalize your worries, shouting them though you could barely hear yourself. Are your eyes closed? You don't know how to open them. There's something wrapping itself under your arms. You squirm and try to kick it away only to get smacked upside the head. The ripping agony that makes you cry out also makes your ascent halt for a moment. You feel the ground slipping away from you again now and panic. You squirm and produce silent whimpers and cries of which are probably so pathetic you would never admit to making them. You are lowered back to the ground to sit on your legs. Your hair flattens to your head in a trail from the front to the back, going right between your horns. Then again in the same place. And again. You make out the features of fingers. The hand continues to stroke your hair. Within the water compressing your head and drowning your ears a wavy hiss make it's way through. Like air being forced out of a small opening. Shhhhhhhhh. Like steam coming from a pipe. Shhhhhhh. The hand on your head is getting slower, trailing further back until it's tickling the back of your neck. It's calming you down. You feel your head lean back on instinct and press into the petting. Your throat vibrates and the hissing continues until you fall asleep.

** > Be the kawaii neko troll~ <3 **

She is incapacitated as of this moment. You will settle for the noble **STRONG** b100 blooded troll. You will also never refer to her as that again. 

** > Make your way to the exit with an armful of bitches. **

You walk to the open doorway, long since been void of door since the crash. Your sturdy, powerful arms cradle many respectable damsels against your **STRONG** and muscular frame. You take a head count on your way down the hall for future reference, just in case it is required: The Rose human, Kanaya, Nepeta, Terezi and the young Jade human. The vast majority of these ladies are unconscious except for Terezi, who is merely clinging to your back for the ride, whooping as if you were an angry stallion being tamed out of your excited rage instead of just walking outside. She was certainly odd but a true gentletroll would never abandon their friends in a time of need.  


"Wooo! Heheh faster Equius faster!" She hollers, gripping your hair like reins and snapping them up. You walk faster, perspiration welling up along your hairline.  


"Cease that at once Terezi." You command. It would be terribly rude to get excited whilst rescuing your comrades from such a disaster. She huffs in disappointment but releases your locks, settling with climbing up your back to sit on your broad shoulders.  


"Hi ho blueberry blood awaaaay!" She hollers, proceeding to laugh as if what she had said was hilarious. You jump down from the meteor's edge onto the fair green ground below. It was not at all troublesome as the space rock you all had called home for a time was lodged into the soil of the planet, perfectly wedged in and mostly submerged. You approach the leader of your friends (You would like to bring up your equally important leader status of the b100 team) and set the females down with the others. You take care to position them comfortably on their backs. You take especially great care of your moirail who you rest on the softest soil. You also make sure her tail was comfortably laying between her legs so that it would not be stepped on or crushed. With your job finished you turn back to the hive, going in to save more of your comrades. You almost forget to send Terezi away. In truth you had forgotten her mounting you entirely. You carefully lift her from your back and set her onto the ground, trying so hard to be gentle. She mumbles an 'ow' which makes you immediately release her. You apologize and then go back inside of the hive. 

**** > Be the blind cowgirl. ** **

It would be your pleasure, though you don't _see_ how you could contribute to a description of the ongoing events. You are blind. Any of the aforementioned 'breathtaking' sights are lost to your eyes. You can smell it though. It smells delightful. Rich colours are wafting in from all around you. Tastes are drifting through the air and tickling your tongue. You let it loll out, like a woofbeast in heat. You can also smell blood, some flavors thicker than others. Sour blueberry is the most prominent which makes you grin. Vriska was bleeding pretty badly. You don't enjoy smelling Kanaya's sour apple blood in the air but you try and focus on the fact that Vriska would probably die. Besides those two the rest were only bruised and maybe a little cut up but nothing to get your panties in into a twist about. Wait, what are panties? >:? 

**** > Move on and help the others.** **

You can't. You would only get in the way. Equius already got most of your friends anyways. You decide to make a list of those that are currently resting and their state of being, for your report when you bring Lemonsnout to trial for driving the meteor while intoxicated. That damned alcoholic nearly killed you all. And yes, you can drive a meteor shut up. Of course Karkat yells at you for licking the wounded but it was necessary to diagnose the damage. 

Rose (Human): Conscious as of inspection strawberry kiwi bite marks on her neck (See: Kanaya). Unharmed. Probably passed out from too long with the rainbow drinker. 

Nepeta: Unconscious, bruised, otherwise unharmed. Was most likely protected by Equius and only sustained mild nub trauma. 

Kanaya: Unconscious, a large gash dug into her back, ruining her shirt which is such a shame because it smelled so fetching on her. You also taste some cherry blood on her lips. (See: Rose Human) 

Vriska: Unconcious, her sour tasting clothes are ripped and soaked in blood. You hypothesize that she must had been torn up by something sharp and then crushed by the weaker walls collapsing. You smell broken bones peeking out under her skin.  


Eridan tries to stop you from licking everyone. You lick him.  


Eridan: Conscious. Annoying, bossy and loud. He tastes alright, a dab or two of grape tingling over your tongue and a subtle hint of frozen mustard.  


It reminds you of when Karkat was getting healed by Kanaya, his freshly oozing candy red blood slowly started to smell cold as his wounds closed, like ice. He wouldn't let you taste his scars afterwards and your own don't have a taste to you. Anyways, Eridan is fine and yelling at you so you move on.  


Feferi: Barely conscious. She's fading in and out, mumbling about Sollux and horns. You smell fresh bubblegum blood running down through her hair. You indulge in a taste while you have a chance and tell her that Sollux was just brought in a while back to calm her down.  


Karkat: Conscious and loud. He's yelling at Equius who just got back with John and the cool-kid. Gamzee and Tavros are behind him from the smell of it.  


Aradia: M.I.A. You will have to send out a search party for her later.  


Sollux: Unconscious. Was awake previously according to eyewitness Eridan Ampora. Was practically unresponsive and panicked and possibly impaired. Eyes taste dull. He is probably blind again. Blood in hearing canals. Possibly unable to hear.  


John: Conscious, unresponsive and moody. He has a few scratches and a scrape on his arm. You try to lick his face to cheer him up but his sadness tastes too bitter and salty so you move on.  


Cool Kid: (See: Dave Strider) Concious, His cool shades are broken but he insists on wearing them, a true cool kid. He tastes like raspberry snow cones but you don't know where he's bleeding. it's impressive how many scars his body hosts and though you'll never tell anyone his cheeks are salty.  


Equius (See: Valiant steed): You find difficulty staying professional. Tastes like a mound of salt. Perspirating heavily. Totally unharmed. You speculate he may have caused most of the damage to the hive by hitting it with his body. You need to hold back vomit and wash your mouth out.  


You hold back rapidly approaching nausea and run into a thick gathering if trees. They break open on the other side to a small river steadily trickling along down into the distance. The water tastes fresh; untouched and clean. You don't recall the last time you tasted anything clean. You drink as much as your digestive sack can carry and then return to see the others. Shit! You almost forgot to add Gamzee and Tavros to your report.  


Gamzee: Conscious, sober and dangerous. You can smell the crazy wafting off of him. Warn Karkat at next opportunity. He is bleeding from his arm. Rescued Tavros.  


Tavros: Conscious but badly injured. He tastes like rubble and meteor dust. Ew. His legs are both broken, which is ironic and you share a cool high five with Dave Strider for bringing it up at Tavros' expense.  


Now with that finished you pull your friendleader away to share your findings. He is too stubborn to listen so you drag him over to the river. Everyone follows. You almost hurt yourself laughing when Eridan practically dives into the river like a wriggler reunited with their long lost lusus.  


** > Try and be John.**  


You don't recommend it though there's nothing you can do to stop it. Nothing you could have done. You're useless. A failure as a friendleader. All of your friends got hurt. They're hurt again and there's nothing you can do. You're too weak to even help. You're useless. Pathetic. A waste of life.  


** > Stop being the severely depressing John human.**  


Gladly. You are now the coolest kid around. You should be honored. Start the fucking appreciation parade 'cause Dave Strider is taking this shitfic for a ride around coolville, population you. You are sitting off to the side while the others lose their shit over a river. Is it a troll thing? Eridan is especially excited. The dude almost canon-balled right into the water. He would have gotten a fuckin' sick splash too if Equius hadn't grabbed him before he dropped. You think about having a drink yourself but you see your bro John shrugging off Rose's attempts at counselling so you graciously saunter over to cheer your buddy up.  


"Hey man did you drink any of this shit? I wouldn't recommended it cause Free Willy over there almost flopped right into the water. It's probably contaminated now just from exposure to his gaudy cape." The moments following are tense. Rose nods in thanks and then goes to get some water for her lesbian alien vampire girlfriend. Hot. You can see John's jaw clench as he tries not to smile but you know just how to break through that self loathing bullshit. You crouch down real close to Egbert and nudge his shoulder, whispering for full stealth mode.  


"Do you think if we shoved Karkat into the river he'd look like a drowned cat? I bet he'd lose his shit man." John's lips twitched up into a melancholy smile. It was a nice encouragement to keep going. "Do it man. Do it. Your Prankster's Gambit or whatever that shit is, is collecting dust. It's growing old and wrinkly from not being amped up for so long. Do it for all of us. Don't just leave it in the old folks home. Take that old geezer out for a wild ride. Look. He's leaning over the water. Just **begging** to be shoved in. Do it man. Do it." Your persuasive coaxing seems to have worked because he gets up. John walks over to the throng of trolls crowding the river, silent and unnoticed like a cat about to pounce. You appreciate the refined ninja-like precision he positions himself in. John truly was no half-assed prankster. He looks to you and nods. You nod back in silent best friend telepathy and stand. "Hey Karkat!" You call, slouching lazily when he turns. John springs forward and shoves Karkat into the water. There is a few seconds of shocked silence. No one moves. No one speaks. Then Karkat's head pops up from the stream.  


"JOHN YOU NOOKFONDLING SLUDGE BUCKET!" He screeches. His face bursts with fury equivalent to an erupting volcano. You see an angry red vein bulging out of his temple. John takes your lead and ollies outie before shit goes down. You both don't stop running even when you're both just heaving with silent, breathless laughter. You push tree branches of all colours out of the way. Red, Blue, Green, Yellow. Shit was a fucking spectrum of foliage. You finally drop when the forest gives way to a vast beach. Sand caves in around your knees to cushion your fall. John falls beside you and rolls onto his back. You both share a look before laughter continues. It is very therapeutic. You don't remember when you last laughed. The game wasn't even to blame. Bro hardly let you show emotion let alone showed enough himself to make you laugh. You were sure Bro was hilarious but you just weren't privy to that hilarity since you turned eight. John literally ROFLs, rocking side to side on his back as he laughs. You're more composed but still, his laugh is infectious. Laughter goes on until you both feel two seconds away from spontaneously growing six-packs. As awesome as that would be you both settle down into weak chuckles and lay in the sand side by side.  


"Dude did you see his face?!" John broke into a short fit of laughter to get all his sillies out.  


"Yeah man he was so pissed! I thought his head was going to explode!" You let out a few low chuckles that you contain before they go on for too long. It wasn't much but John seemed to get you you to open up just the tiniest bit.  


"Hey Dave?" He asked finally. You were ecstatic that he was finally coming out of his shell and being the old derp you know and love.  


"Yeah?" You ask, glancing over at him. You can't really see him from the corner of your eye but you're being careful since you're used to the glasses hiding your eyes and now with them broken you don't have that shield.  


"What if..." He pauses and shifts so he's sitting up, staring down with a concentrated expression. "What if I..." He pauses again. Shit this was serious. You sit up too and put a hand on his shoulder.  


"If you...?" You try to coax him on.  


"What if I was a..." He gulps, loud enough for you to hear. You see the tiny budding adam's apple bob into his neck as he swallows. "What if I was a homosexual?" He says, quickly and his voice sounds so airy when he utters 'homosexual'. You pause, thinking about which approach would be best for this situation.  


"What if **I** was a homosexual?" You ask, making sure not to break eye contact in this crucial moment.  


"Well..." He looks away. Shit. "Than we would need to have the biggest of homo-bromances" He says smiling and looking up into your eyes. Thank god this wasn't going to be awkward.  


"Sloppy makeouts and everything?" You hold back the urge to smile, pokerfacing to keep this suggested bromance legit.  
"Only if I get to touch your butt."  


"You can't handle this plush rump Egbert...your hand might explode from my bootilicious backside." You shake your head, turning your head away dismissively.  


"Oh come oooooooon! You can touch mine!" He says. You break and smirk at him.  


"Your ass will never again go untouched. You do not know what you have unleashed by giving me free rein of your ass John." He laughs and smacks your shoulder lightly.  


"We will tell people we are Siamese twins joined by the hand to each other's asses!" You laugh this time, locking an arm around his neck.  


"Cause y'know, what's more ironic than two bros pretending to be bros and having a big ol' bromance!" John nuzzles into your side and shrugs.  


"Penguins?" You scoff at how adorably dorky your friend is and nuzzle your chin into his hair. A pungent odor suddenly made itself annoyingly present.  


"Dude you stink. Let's take a bath in the river."  


"Oh are we going all Brokeback Mountain now?" He grins, in such a stupidly dorky way that it was endearing. You smile and shove his head back.  


"Yeah man going to fuck you senseless and then leave cause my wife and kid don't know I'm gay."  


"Dude no way I wanna be Heith Ledger!"  


"No way John you won't top me. You don't got the skills."  


"And you do?"  


"Fuck yeah. Fucking dudes all the time." You take John to a more private place to bathe all the while joking about your homoerotic tendencies and sexcapades.  


** > Be Rose**  


You appreciate not having a ridiculous add on to your introduction. You don't have the time to argue with the omnipotent force narrating this tale. Earlier you had gone back to the meteor and gotten a bucket from a storage closet. Now you were filling it up to clean the row of your incapacitated friends. The trolls that were awake stared at you awkwardly. The blind one, Terezi if you recall, snickers and nudges Karkat whilst pointing to you as you pass. It doesn't bother you since school has been all too generous to prepare you for that. You walk to the crash site and kneel down by Kanaya, making sure to smooth down your skirt first and avoid any unsightly flashes. Kanaya doesn't look like she's waking up any time soon. It makes your chest feel tight. There was this odd sensation in your stomach that you related back to the worry you felt whenever your mother was drinking a bit too much. You were worried for Kanaya's well being and you knew it was more than just because she was a friend. You feel a little dizzy from your previous time spent with Kanaya. You don't feel up to revitalizing her with your blood so you attempt to tip the bucket of water to her mouth. Most of it trickles down her chin and you dotingly wipe it away. Seeing that getting her to drink is currently impossible you untie your pink belt and fold it into a makeshift cloth. You dunk it into the water and clean the green blood from your troll's elegant body. Since your belt is already stained you feel no remorse in cleaning the rest of your friends. You even feel giving enough to clean those you dislike.  


** >Be Sollux**  


You rouse from your sleep to hear the faint dripping of water. At first you assume it's your ears drowning again but the drips are muffled too. You try to pull yourself up and groan. Every inch of your body protests to you moving but you proceed to fuck that logic and sit up anyways. Something cold and hard brushes against your forehead and makes you jump. You didn't know you were whimpering until a reminiscent hissing starts up. You hair is flattened down a few times which gets you to drop your guard. You can hear a gentle mumble, like someone is talking to you, but you can't hear any words. The mumbling stops and the coldness returns, trailing down your face and cooling the flaring heat under your skin. You feel a groan vibrate from your throat and the hand pauses. It starts up again on your head and you hiss when the cold starts to sting. The cold retracts and now your hair is being gently pulled back around where it hurt. The back of someone's fingers caress the indent of your temple and your throat immediately bursts into content rumbles. The motion is so relieving and calming. You realize for the first time since the lights went out that the voices have stopped. Ever since you had gotten your sight back you have been hearing them again, quieter but ever present. Now they were silent and the peace that you felt spread to every muscle in your body, simultaneously relaxing them. The rumbling in your throat went faster and harder. You wanted to encourage the hand to keep stroking your temple. You hear a far away voice call out angrily. You know that tone anywhere. Karkat was throwing a fit. You feel your brow tighten as you focus to hear what he's bitching about now.  


"ERIDAN GET YOUR LAZY ASS OVER HERE!" He's screaming loud enough that you can just barely make out his words. No worry of yours. You couldn't give a flying fuck about Ampora if fucks were raining from the sky and you had some sort of holding receptacle outstretched into the shower. What you DID mind though was that Karkat's screaming was getting louder and the hand stroking your temple had moved away. You reached out blindly to pull it back, able to hear your own muffled "No." as you pathetically grab at the air. Something silky and light flips past your cheek and now you can hear Ampora yelling back at Karkat. The dread that fills you is overwhelming. Your head pounds again and you're left feeling miserable. It takes you a moment to realize you've fallen over and now rest your head on someone's lap. You reach a hand up and trail your fingertips clumsily over their skirt clad legs. The fabric is so incredibly smooth. Very much like what had slid across your cheek moments earlier. A hand patiently guides your wandering fingers from where you assume was inappropriately high on their legs and then there's pressure on your cheek. A soft hand caresses your cheekbones repeatedly and once again you fall into the calm darkness of sleep.  


** > Be Douchescar**  


That's fuckin' insulting and you refuse to let your ancestor be slandered as such. You ignore Karkat's screaming to await an apology.  


** > Accept there's no apology coming and deal with Karkat.**  


Fine. But you aren't happy about it. Karkat's face has turned an amusing shade of red. He's soaked from head to toe and the sight reminds you of a rabid pawbeast. He looks even more enraged when you snicker at him.  
"FUCK YOU ERIDAN! DON'T YOU DARE FUCKING LAUGH!" He screams, stabbing a dripping finger at you threateningly. Like this, Karkat is about as intimidating as a newly hatched wriggler. His large eyes are somehow flared with rage and adorable at the same time.  


"Alright Kar. Calm your shit. Wwhat do you wwant?" You ask, saving some sweet sarcastic revenge for a time when Karkat wouldn't try and stab you with his fists  


"I want you to go around and scout the area since you're the only one with a long range weapon."  


"Uh...I must interject..." Equius breathed, skulking off at the side of the conversation like a sweaty, over sized shadow.  


"Broken bows and a shitty collection of arrows does not count nor does John's windy shit, or Dave's circular time records! Ampora is the only one here unharmed and able to play sentry until we heal everyone." Karkat growled. He turns to you and slaps a sopping wet hand on your shoulder. The moisture makes your body shiver with a long term withdrawal. "Go and get your lame-ass harpoon gun and while you're in there scrounge up enough decency from your slimy scum sucking gills to get the Healifyer and bring it out." He gives you a hard wet shove towards your hive but pulls his hand back when you moan.  


"What the-"  


"Wwant a towwel to dry off kar?" You ask quickly, before he can question why you suddenly get off on back paps. He pauses, eyeing you suspiciously before nodding.  


"Yeah, thanks..." He mumbles, still searching you for an ulterior motive.  


"Yes, bring several seadweller. I too find myself in need of multiple towels." Equius once again pops his heavy, airy comments into the conversation. You look over at the troll practically drowning in his own bodily fluids.  


"Eww" You say and then go off to collect the requested items. You pass by all of your friends laying on the ground, taking notice of your potential kismesis, Rose cleaning your ex-moirail. Feferi isn't awake at the moment but you assume she must have woken up before because Sollux is in her lap and her hand is on his head. You stand behind Rose.  
"Ah don't do it like that." You say, generously lending your assistance.  


"Odd, I don't recall asking for your help." She said, voice cool and elegantly flowing with sarcasm.  


"You're wwelcome. I havve my moments a bein' givvin'" She scoffs and goes back to wiping the blood from Feferi's cheek.  
"Really Rose don't." You insist, stepping closer.  


"Look Ampora. I don't try and coach you on how you treat people, desperately as you need it, or how you dress, again despite your agonizing need of guidance, so please leave me to wash up in peace." She gives an exasperated sigh and looks back at you with tired eyes.  


"Rude." You say. Without the patience to endure her snarky comments you take the wadded up belt she was using as a washcloth and kneel beside her. "Fef's got sensitivve fins. One a her softer spots." You explain, dipping the belt into the (...ugh gross she is using a bucket as a means of containing the water) bucket. With the utmost care you gently stroke the belt over Feferi's jawline and behind her fin, just the way that always made her giggle when you two were younger. When you pull your hand back your fingers are a mortifying tint of pink. "No offense just that I don't wwant you hurtin her...wwith our history an all you knoww...old habits take a long time to cease being almost thoughtless as you humans say." You wipe your fingers off on her belt while simultaneously battling against your paralyzing fear for Feferi.  


"Not exactly but I'll give you that one. I admire you looking after her."  


"Wwell a course I wwill she's my moi-" You pause, an all too familiar pain stabbing your chest. "frie-" You pause again, having to squeeze your eyes shut to hold back the aching in your eyes threatening to overflow. You swallow hard and try again. "I care about her." Rose seems to look at you with eyes that can only be filled with pity. You feel like garbage being pitied by such a lowly creature. You lift your head proudly and finish washing Feferi's fins, carelessly tossing the belt at Rose like it were trash. "I'll leavve the rest to you. I havve more important thin's to do than play lusus." You stand and the stabs of pain in your chest intensify. It's so hard just to keep standing when all you want to do is crawl into a dark hole and die.  


"Eridan?"  


"Hm?"  


"For what it's worth, I don't blame you." You sniff and turn your head away indignantly.  


"Your opinion ain't wworth shit human," You growl, more harshly than you had wanted to sound.  
"Not wwhen evveryone else hates me." The way you speak sounds softer this time and shaky so you walk to the hive before she can pry any more emotion from you. It's damn creepy how easily her words can manipulate you.  


** > Be the drowned Karkitty.**  


Fuck you. Fuck you hard and sideways. Egbert is a dead man. Him and Strider will be on watch duty all fucking night that's for sure. You impatiently await Eridan to return with your towel which is only made more grueling by how hard you're shivering. Equius offers his body warmth in a creepy hug proposition but you shoot down that sweaty death clamp straight away. Terezi is trying to lick you dry which is completely counter intuitive and you yell at her. Of course your anger doesn't phase her and she continues licking and sucking on your shirt. You protest the entire time with low grumbles and occasionally snapping when she tries to push her gnashing teeth near your horns. Finally, Eridan returns with a tower of towels most of which are for the shaky sweat pile to your left. He hands you a big fluffy towel first then the rest were immediately soiled by Equius's hands. The creepy fucker grunts and sighs with uncomfortable pleasure when he dries off and you're forever thankful that Eridan pulls you away.  


"Thanks Eridan. For the towel and for taking me away before I got hit by the sweat shower raining from Equius' pits." He wraps the towel around your shoulders, almost custodian-like in fussing over your health.  


"No problem Kar. I wwouldn't wwant to leavve you wwith that." He grimaces and pushes his over sized glasses up on his nose. You almost forget that Eridan is a major douche for a moment and share a genuine smile with each other. It's probably the influence of this new planet fucking with you. You need to remember you fucking hate Eridan for what he did.  


"Now get going and secure the area before we lose any more people to your fuckups." He looks hurt. Severely so but you don't have time to feel sorry for him. This entire mess was his fault anyways. He sulks off with his harpoon gun held low and the sight almost made you want to apologize. Almost. "Be back once you've circled the perimeter twice!" You order. Eridan just waves his hand to notify he heard you without turning around. He was hunched over and you ignore the fact his shoulders were jerking erratically. You had more important things to worry about.  
Back at the crash site you hear gargled sobs and screeching and know Vriska is being healed by her colourful profanities.  


"Fuck!! Aghhh make it stop! Terezi you bitch I know you're getting some siiiiiiiick pleasure from this!!" Vriska hissed, writhing under Equius's strong hands holding her down. Terezi chuckled, aiming the Healifyer at Vriska's broken leg.  


"Heheh why would I enjoy this Vriska? Besides you're finally getting the punishment you deserve!" Her lips curled up with sadistic euphoria when Vriska's leg snapped into place and the spider troll screamed. Equius was probably the only one suited for the job of restraints because she was putting up quite a struggle and he firmly kept her arms and shoulders down.  


"Please keep holding on Vriska. Such language is not becoming of a blue blood such as yourself." Equius said, sounding a little tired. You stood by at a distance to watch until Terezi smelled you lurking and called you over. Hesitantly, you go over to help and hold down Vriska's good leg so she doesn't kick Terezi in the face. Unfortunately, she kicks you in the face.  


"FUCK YOU AND FUCK YOUR STUPID SWEATY CHEST! GET OFF OF ME YOU HOOFBEAST FUCKING OAF!" She screamed. You had to wince when the crunching of bones grinding together reached your ear canals. Equius looked like he was going to reply but instead leaned forward more to keep her restrained down with his body. You get another kick in the stomach and wheeze.  


"Vriska! We are trying to heal you calm the fuck down!!" You yell at her.  


"FUCK YOU KARKAT! I'LL KICK YOUR NUBBY LITTLE HORNS OFF!!" She tries to kick you again but you are prepared this time and cling tightly to her leg with both arms. Terezi just continues chuckling, safe from Vriska's wrath because while healing an appendage becomes almost paralyzed, the pain unfortunately is the only thing you can feel. In short you help Terezi and Equius to heal Vriska's three broken ribs and reheal her wrist that Equius broke while he was pushing down on her. The major cuts and scrapes glaze over into delicate blue scars and soon she finally relaxes. It's hard to believe but at the moment she's sweatier than Equius though you don't blame her. She went through torture.  


"There's a river just through those trees...if you want to wash up." You tell her, exhausted from just holding her leg. Terezi pulls the medical gun up and grins at your general direction.  


"Take a little break and talk to me when you're ready to heal someone else...You too Equius." She turns and goes to rest herself though you don't know why. All she did was aim the gun. Equius offers Vriska one of his few unsoiled towels which she takes with her into the forest though not before analyzing it skeptically. You're about to follow her when you hear a groan from behind you and see Gamzee is having a lot of trouble with the blood on his hands.  


** > Be Vriska.**  


It's weird walking on your legs after they've been healed. It's like walking on air. It's so light but occasionally you feel the pin pricks of numbness leaving your feet. You make your way to the river and see the gothic blond human filling a bucket with water. It makes your face warm. You try to ignore her and kneel by the water's edge, splashing handfuls of the clear, pristine liquid onto your face. It feels soothing but you can still feel the sweat sticking to you under the layer of water. You dry off with the towel and scrub your face with your good hand. You don't want to risk short circuiting your robotic one. The water distorts your reflection with ripples when you cup it in your hands. Still, you can tell you look horrible. You'll have to find a better place to properly wash up if you're going to uphold a classy outer appearance; can't let John see you like this. You set off deeper into the forest to find some form of deeper and cleaner water.  


** > Be Jade**  


Well you can try though you won't be doing very much. You're asleep and unless someone wakes you up and heals you, you won't be waking up any time soon. You're dreaming though. Dreaming of the wondrous adventure you and your friends were on. You drempt of Bec and your grandpa. That fateful day when you accidentally killed him. How could you have guessed it would all lead to this? Your dreams no longer take you to another planet of gold. You can't fly around carelessly anymore among the yellow spires and towers. You can, however, dream of different worlds. You can relive your fondest memories or become anything you wish. This time, however, you aren't given a choice of what to see. Instead you are shown a vision. A horrific nightmare of gore and carnage. Of tremendous aching in your heart that snatches all happiness right out of you. You try and try to wake up but your true body is lost and numb. You can't feel where you came from. You can't feel anything anymore. You see erratic flashes of colour. Paint splattering pale sand covered beaches. Blood dripping from your own hands. A rainbow stretching as far as you can see. Then you hear a faint squeak. It goes again. Once more but this time quieter. You see yourself sobbing over a lifeless corpse. You don't focus on who it was though you felt too familiar with him. You are in love with whoever this boy is. Then the squeak gets louder. Everything goes black and all you hear is a loud, hoarse, angry; 

__**Honk.**


	3. Your Own Neverland

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John struggles with puberty, Nepeta and Terezi go off to LARP, Equius plays nurse, and Gamzee is losing his shit.

You are now John Egbert. After recent shenanigans with your cool-kid best friend you have been deemed stable enough to become the next POV. You're feeling a lot better by the way. You and Dave found a cool waterfall near the river and it was amazingly cliché how you both showered under it. If you two were some lovestruck couple, or if someone had been watching it would have been movie worthy. As weird as it sounds you sort of wish someone had been watching, though you are choosing to blame it on puberty. The game had been a great distraction from your raging hormones but now with the realization you might like dudes, the monster-free paradise island you're all trapped on, and the abundance of dudes around it was difficult to ignore the confusing torrent of thoughts crashing in your head. You actually thought you and Dave would get up to some sloppy makeouts while you were bathing but he respectfully kept his distance which also confused you because you thought he was serious about the butt touching and making out. You wouldn't have minded it actually. Though thinking about it, that would have made things awkward wouldn't it? Ugh you don't even know. At this point you just want to fuck everyone but you know that's weird. That's actually incredibly weird. What is happening to you?

**> Be Nepeta**

You open your eyes to a vibrant purple sky. Your head hurts when you try to sit up but you are delighted to see the colourful array of trees circling where you sit. You don't have any idea where you are but you recall the hive shaking violently and Equius cradling you in his arms, then waking up on the ground. You know Equius laid you down and took care of you but you're surprised when he isn't anywhere to be found. You thought he would have stayed until you awoke but he wasn't around. You see the meteor you were all riding on has crashed into the planet you are now on. Turning your head shows you that a lot of your friends are hurt, though most are walking around purrfectly unharmed. Terezi walks over to you, probably smelling that you're awake. She's covered in a deep blue blood that was too dark to be her's and too light to be Equius, and is holding the healifyer. 

"Hey there Nepeta. How are you feeling?" She asks, sitting down in front of you.

"Not pawful I guess..." You reply, rubbing a sore spot at the back of your head.

"Want a quick shot with the healifyer? Just to make sure nothing's wrong up there?" She inquires, holding the tool up for your inspection.

"Yeah actually. Better heal me up befur Equius comes down and gets all grumpy at you for not healing me first." You know he would too which is that saddest part.

"Right, don't want your lusus on my tail." She says, and you both share a little laugh at your moirail's expense. It wasn't that mean though so you don't feel too bad about it after. Equius  _can_  be a little overbearing sometimes. Speaking of Equius, here he comes trudging on in through the trees. He sees you're awake and immediately speed walks over.

"Ah, I see you are finally getting around to healing Nepeta. It is about time Terezi." He breathes and kneels down beside you.

"Equius, that isn't fur. Terezi was pawbably healing trolls that were more hurt!" You defend her and out of the corner of your eye you see her chuckling as she turns the healifyer on.

"Your safety is my first priority Nepeta. I don't care much on being fair when you could be in danger." He reaches out slowly to try and pat your head. He pulls his hand back at the last second but the exaggerated time it took for him to actually reach out was as gratifying for you as if he _had_  patted your head. He was just too scared of hurting you and you understood that. He looks down sullenly, brow tight with worry. You turn and put both your hands on top of one of his.

"I know Equius but don't take it out on Terezi ok? I'm ok thanks to you. You saved me!" He looks up with a shy little crooked smile and turns his head away bashfully.

"Please Nepeta, it was nothing. I was just fufilling my duty as your moirail to ensure you were unharmed. Any troll would have done the same." He tries to brush it off like it was nothing but you know he feels good from what you said by the way his back straightened just a bit.

"Ok pouncelor are you ready?" Terezi asked, aiming the healifyer at your head. You giggle and take your hands from Equius'.

"The noble pouncelor, wounded from the sudden homewreaking turns to her dragon furend and with a steady nod signifies she is ready for healifying." You say, narrating what you do as you do it.

"The powerful dragon aims her gun at the pouncelor's head and pulls the trigger." She says but she's pointing the gun at Equius, not you. You subtly nudge the gun over to your nub with a swipe of your paw and she notices your help before pulling the trigger. A surge of cold spreads through your cranium with lightning swiftness. You slump over against Equius who utters a startled, "Oh my!", as you fall. You should have closed your eyes because now they're getting dry and they hurt and you can't close them. It's an odd sensation, like a gentle vibration inside of your skull. Terezi soon turns off the gun and sets it down. Slowly, you can feel your nub again and you blink, though your eyes are misty and overflowing already.

"Nepeta did it hurt? Why are you crying?" Equius asked, anxiously looming over you.

"I'm furine Equius I just couldn't blink is all." You explain, smiling up at him cheerfully to ease his worries. You wipe your tears away and stand up. "I'm going to go hang out with Terezi okay? You stay here and socialize!" You pop up and grab Terezi's hand.

"Oh? Where are we going?" She asks but stumbles along behind you anyways with an adventurous grin on her face. She knew what you were up to and once she explained what was going on you two would have a long overdue larp session!

**> Be Kanaya**

You wish you could be but you are still unconscious since Terezi hasn't healifyed you yet. Perhaps you could take the role of a companion who could assist you out of this predicament.

**> Be Equius**

Nepeta has abandoned you in the clearing with your fellow trolls. While socializing is not one of your  **STRONG** er points you will make due with the time she has given you alone. You had hoped to spend some time with her alone but that could wait until she was finished with Terezi. You know Nepeta feels smothered by you but you cannot help being overly protective. She is so naive and small; Oh so small. At least she wasn't trying to fraternize with someone of a lower blood hue though you wish she would become more friendly with the highbloods a blue blood like Terezi would do for now. You look around at the cluster of beings scattered around the area.

Rose sits beside the injured Kanaya, reading a book. You, Terezi, and Karkat were going to heal her next but it seems Terezi was distracted by Nepeta's awakening and Karkat seems to be caring for his own moirail. Tavros is crumpled pitifully against a tree, legs snapped awkwardly at the shin. You wince just looking at the agony he is going through. He finally gets his legs back and they break. Such a shame really. As much as you pity the lowblood, you feel an obligation to take it upon yourself and first heal the fine lady before her injuries worsen. You approach the blond haired human female and your green blooded comrade, attempting a warm smile though the Rose human seems more off put than charmed.

"Can I help you?" She asks, looking up from her literature to address you after what you hadn't realized was an incredibly awkward minute of silent smiling.

"Ah, yes. I am healing Kanaya. Is that alright?" You take the healifyer from the ground and turn it on. It's warm in your hands and shakes just slightly within your large palms.

"Oh, yes that would be splendid. Thank you for finally finding enough time in your busy schedule to grace my g-," She pauses to clear her throat and shifts over just a tad on the ground, " _her_  with a desperately needed healing." You nod and smile once again.

"It is no trouble. You are welcome." You reply, hovering your hand over Kanaya's shoulder. You do not want to hurt her further by pushing her incorrectly.

"Right, you guys don't get sarcasm." She mutters. You disregard her comment as nonsense and attempt to touch Kanaya. Once your hand is lightly placed upon her shoulder you nudge her over in hopes she'd roll but she just slides in the dirt and her delicate brow comes together in what you think is pain. Your hand pulls back instantly.

"Ah...I am sorry." You tell Rose. She sets her book down and pulls Kanaya over onto her lap, exposing her back to you. Her gash is covered by a long strip of black cloth which you can see now came from the Rose human's skirt. You peel it off of her with great care and dried green strands of blood cling to the fabric before detaching themselves. You set the makeshift bandage down and point the healifyer at Kanaya's back, finding your hands are shaking along with the gun. A crack makes you jump and you stare down at the gun to see it now has a small line burst in the skin. You hold it loosely and aim again, very slowly pulling the trigger to ensure the gun survives the other healings it must perform. A white beam shoots out no larger than the circumference of the shaft of an arrow and hits right between Kanaya's shoulder blades. You commend yourself on your excellent marksmanship. Now if only you could hold a bow without it breaking in your hands. The white light spreads across Kanaya's back on contact, glowing around her gaping wound. After a moment of steady glowing the ends of her cut seem to crawl back to each other and interlock, melding together until they are one again and nothing is left but a faint green scar. You release your finger on the trigger and set the gun down with a sigh of relief that everything went well.

"Thank you." The Rose human says with a polite smile, nodding gratefully at you and rolling the green blood onto her back once again. You return her smile and her nod.

"You are welcome." You say. You pick up the healifyer and go over to Tavros to heal the poor lowblood before he suffers any more.

**> Be The Poor Lowblood**

You guess you could. It'd be nice for something to distract yourself from the pain. Not that you want to complain or anything but your legs are broken and no one seems to care. They're all running around healing the others or chatting idly and while it's nice that they finally have some peace from all the danger it'd be nice if, uh, they healed you first so you could enjoy it too. Gamzee was keeping you company for a bit but you could see something was wrong with him and Karkat came by to take him away. Now you're all alone, sitting against a tree with bright red leaves. It's actually really pretty and watching it is calming. A gentle breeze rolls by and sweeps across the sweat matted to the back of your neck. For a moment the pain is discarded for serenity. The leaves above you rustle and a tiny brown ball darts from your tree to a blue one beside it. You squint slightly and lift your hands to your temples. A pressure releases from your mind, very much like the soft winds that blew occationally. A tiny brown ball pokes its head out of the tree and then scurries down to your side. When it reaches you the ball stands up on its back legs, front ones tucked into its fur. It emmits a faint squeaking sound and then the fur just between its eyes twitches. It leans closer to you and the fur twitches again, like it was sniffing you. Heavy footsteps approach and you look up to see Equius bringing the healifyer over. When you look back down the creature is gone which is very disappointing. 

 

"Hello lowblood. I have come to free you from your crippled agony." He says, setting the gun down and dropping to his knees. His weight stirs up a dust cloud and you cough, swiping the particles away. 

 

"Uhh, thanks Equius. I really appriciate it." You mumble, coughing a little bit more and looking down at your legs. You remember the pain now that you can see the blood oozing from the sharp bones jutting out from your skin. 

 

"It is fine. I am just ensuring we have as much help as we can to cultivate this land." Equius took one of your legs, you guess to put the bone back in place, but he releases it when you shriek. Your heel hits the ground and your hand darts out to hold Rufio's as you muffle your cries into your tightly sealed lips. It's hard to remember he isn't real when he's squeezing your hand back so tightly and whispering to you that it's ok. Your lip starts to bleed when your teeth push through it, mixed with the explosion of misery repeatedly slamming around inside your shins.

 

"Ah! I am sorry lowblood! I did not mean to harm you! Please forgive me!" Equius stammers nervously.  _Shh it's ok Tavros. Be strong. Imagine a better place. Imagine your neverland. "Tavros! Open your eyes!"_

 

**Be Karkat**

****You have to go! You have to run faster. Right now! Terezi tried to warn you but of course past Karkat was too full of himself to listen to her. Just full to the brim with stupid douchbaggery and rainbow trees. You thought you had it under control. You brought Gamzee away from the others and tried to talk some sense into him. All that got you was some very black makeouts and a bloody back. You have to run faster. FASTER DAMMIT. He's behind you. You can hear him getting closer and closer. Honk Honk Honk. That's all you hear. How far did you get from the site? Where was everyone? Great, a perfect time for you to get lost. Present Karkat is an idiot too. You have come to the, already painfully clear, conclusion that each and every Karkat, past present or future, is totally and irrevokably a stupid douchefucker. You run around a large tree and find yourself staring into wild black eyes rimmed with indigo and trembling with repressed psychotic rage.

 

"Gamzee...come on now stay calm." You lift your hands up to show you mean no harm and try backing away. "Gamzee you aren't like this. You're ok now." Gamzee approacheS you sluggishly, struggling to get out a decent breath.

 

"Heeeeey my pale bro. Now why did you up and run away from me when things were getting good?" He still talked like the same Gamzee but you wouldn't let that fool you. The scars were practically glowing across his face to remind you that his smile was not sincere. 

 

"Gamzee we are moirails. I refuse to be your Kismesis. I don't do quadrant flopping." You told him sternly.

 

"Ohhh Karbro but why not?" He asked, walking closer to you and hooking an arm painfully around your waist. "You should give everything at least one motherfuckin' try." He pulled you right up against him, a sinister shadow cast over his manic grin. 

 

"Gamzee no! Let me go! I only have pale feelings for you! I can't do this!" You try to push him back but his arms only tighten around you, like a fangbeast ensnaring its prey. 

 

"Come  _on_ Karkat." The deep clarity and seriousness of his voice startled you. You could feel his nails digging into your back and ripping into your shirt. Gamzee's eyes were hard and dead set on nothing else but you, and a dark black lust radiated from within them that threatened to swallow you whole. He leaned down and parted his lips from his sharp, brown stained teeth. You couldn't fight against him. You were his moirail, you wern't supposed to hurt him. You bring your hand up and stroke down his cheek.

 

"Shhooo-" He slaps your hand from his face and forcefully pushes you into a tree.

 

"Not this time motherfucker." He snarls as his fingers consecutively tighten around your throat. The world starts going black and all light is devoured by the blackness. You only hear your own choked gasps for air. Energy whizzing through the air shatters the darkness and fills it with a blinding white light. Gamzee's hand flies from your throat and you don't wait long enough to see him hit the ground. At first your feet are clumsy and weak. You trip but sheer panic drives you to scramble up and keep running. Your chest is pounding thunderously in your ears to the point where you can't even hear your own breathing.

Run

RUN

 **RUN**  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this chapter took longer then the others. The others were pre written at school. Anyways expect more shenanigans and please comment and tell me how you'd like me to improve! Your feedback keeps me going!


	4. The Guilt of Abandonment

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Karkat's a defensive jerkface, Eridan breaks, Kanaya begins her meddling and Equius is a cutie-pie who just wants a little "good job".

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to apologize for the delay. Not only did I put off finishing this chapter due to laziness but I also hesitated due to the content. I wasn't sure if this was alright to post but after some deliberation I decided this was the direction I envisioned for Hopeless.

"What the fuck do you think you're doing motherfucker?" Gamzee growls from below you. His voice is dull and eerily uncaring for someone who had just been shot. He pulls himself up and stands as an ominous shadow behind a cloud of dust.   
  
"Gam you havve to calm down! Do you evven realize wwhat you almost did to Kar? Your moirail?!" You call out to him. Just imagining that sort of caliginous behavior with Fef...it makes you feel sick. You could never imagine even the slightest of black feelings for her. You keep your gun steadily held at your hip and aimed at Gamzee. He chuckles deeply at you; a baritone you never noticed he could reach before.   
  
"Motherfucker you just scared away my pale buddy. Know what that means for you?" Gamzee asks while slowly closing the comfortable distance you had established between you two. As strong as you try to appear the menacing indigo glimmer of madness in his eyes makes you step back and consider running. Was he going to kill you just for scaring off his moirail? As ridiculous and irrational as it sounded nothing seemed safe with Gamzee in this state.  
  
"Stay back," You call loudly and hold your gun up right under your chin, squinting to focus your aim on his head, "don't make me shoot you Gam!" Your warning falls on deaf ears. Gamzee continues making his way closer to you and each step summons a terrified chill up your spine. You have made the biggest bilgesack move ever and stayed alone with Gamzee. You should have ran when you had the chance. During your reflection and paralyzing fear, Gamzee had walked close enough to you that your gun barrel was pressed against his neck and with a dark and hungry grin he spoke.  
  
"Know what that means?" You didn't realize right away that he was repeating himself. To be honest you had thought the question was rhetorical.  
  
"No, wwhat does that mean?" You had to ask; Curiosity was just too tempting. Gamzee's face split open beyond what any troll's features should be capable of stretching to. Shoot. Oh for the love of your ancestor shoot now! Duelscar wouldn't have waited this long. If Duelscar had wanted it, Gamzee would be dead by now. The only thing wrong with that is that you aren't Duelscar. Gamzee knows you won't kill your friends again. You weren't like him. Gamzee could snap and kill without remorse, he'd enjoy it even, but you; The blood on your hands haunt you to this day and you have regretted it every single day since. 

  
"It means~" Gamzee drew out a long taunting hiss while you silently quivered with the struggle against your decency and your urge to stay alive. You had one last chance. You lift your gun up and jab it at the bottom of Gamzee's chin; square between his jaw bone. He tilts his head back uncomfortably easily and chuckles.   
  
"Enough! Gam this is your last wwww...wwarnin'." Your finger rattles on the trigger, your palms grow sweaty and weak. Gamzee knows you can't kill one of your friends again. He knows you won't shoot him and you know that you are as good as dead if you _don't_ shoot. It was like staring down a fangbeast; Cautious and intense just before it strikes with lightning fast reflexes to inject its poison. It was deadly and it was inevitable at this point. Calmly, and slowly, Gamzee lifts a hand and sets it onto your gun. He lowers it down until you were limply pointing it at the ground. Why you were even holding it at this point was beyond you. You can't even feel your hands anymore. What you can feel, however, is the jagged roughness of bark at your back. A dying whir reaches your ears and your gun drops to the ground.   
  
"You're going to have to take his place motherfucker." There it was. You were dead. His claws dig into your body and rip up across your chest. They manage to hook your glasses too and knock them off of your face. Now any pitiful sight you still had before that point is lost. The ground comes hard to catch you and cradles your body against it with a sturdy reassurance that you'll be alright. Everything starts going black and a warmth sucks you up into it. You want to let it take you away to a different place and just let go. Just as your head breaks the surface of uncontiousness your legs are dragged back down. An uplifting sense of calm and peace is trying to swim down your body. You feel it trying to pull you up but your bottom half is being dragged down with spikes and daggers. You might just rip apart clean across the middle. The pain is overwhelming and when you try to scream your mouth is smothered. A harsh pressure makes it almost impossible to breath or cry out. The daggers go up your lower back, repeatedly stabbing your abdomen and ripping apart your innards. You try to let go. You try to escape and just fly up into the warmth but your legs are as heavy as boulders. The warmth starts to fade away and that's when the reality became to much to bear. You scream and cry though nothing makes it past your lips. Repress it. Repress it now! How the fuck could you repress what wasn't over yet? You weren't going to die. You knew that much but as you stare blindly into a blurry mess of indigo and purple you wish that the world could have been so kind. Gamzee's laughter echos through the forest along with a mocking and repetitive HONK.   
  
 **\-- > Be The Noble Pounceler**  
  
With pleasure! You and Terezi are currently relaxing under a verdant, lime green tree. You think she's dozed off because she isn't answering you anymore and she's snoring just a little bit. You don't mind though. She's resting her head on your legs and you are entertaining yourself with threading the astonishing flora this planet hosts into her hair. A rustle of bushes nearby captures your attention. You're alert and tensed up for a fight as the leaves continue to shake and shimmy.   
  
"AC growls threateningly and bears her fangs. Who is there? She calls, only moments away from ripping the stranger's throat out."   
  
"Caaaaaaaalm down kitty cat it's just me." Vriska calls. A few seconds later she escapes the confines of the bush to prove it. You relax (though not completely) and go back to flowering Terezi's hair.   
  
"AC tells Mindfang she is lucky. A second more and she would have been a spider snack." You say.  
  
"Oh right, thanks for sparing me noble catler." Vriska waves you off and sits down by you and Terezi.   
  
"AC growls, it's POUNCElor, and is very close to extending her claws and slashing the spider queen." Vriska doesn't seem worried or even intimidated by your threat, though it is very serious. You've had enough of her and her cattitude and frankly your group would be better off without her traitorous ways.  
  
"Whatever. So you guys just finish or what?"  
  
"Hm?"  
  
"LARPing; I was hoping to join if you were still going." Vriska flips her hair back and gazes out into the distance in a feign of indifference.  
  
"We just finished actually. We decided to just relax a bit more before we go back to the others." You drop the roleplaying shtick around Vriska because you know you won't get any fun replies from her right now.   
  
"Mind if I join you?" She doesn't turn her head but you catch her darting her eyes away from you when you look up.   
  
"Don't you have someone to stab in the back Vriska?" It was harsh but you don't regret it in the slightest. Vriska sighs and turns her head towards you, finally.  
  
"Look Nepeta, I'm not here to make trouble. At least, not right now. We're all scared and disoriented. We can't risk breaking apart. Like it or not we have to be friendly here. So c'mon, what do you say?" You search her eyes for dishonesty, which is actually incredibly difficult because you've never seen an honest look on her in your entire life. She makes a good point though and so you sigh with resignation and nod.   
  
"Alright. When Terezi wakes up you'll have to convince her but for now you're welcome here." Vriska smiles and shimmies her bottom closer to the tree. She lays back into the grass and puts her hands behind her head. "Wonder what this new planet means."  
  
"I don't know; but let's hope luck's on our side this time." Vriska laughs and shuts her eyes.   
  
"I'm feeling pretty lucky." That doesn't really make you feel any better about the subject.  
  
 **\-- > Be The Wimpy ScardyKarkat**  
  
Fuck you! Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, and also **fuck you**! You are not wimpy and you certainly don't appreciate the slandering of your name. You had no other choice but to run. Gamzee was about to force some messed up blackrom onto you and you certainly weren't down for that. You're lucky Ampora came when he did. It occurs to you to worry about Eridan's safety but then you remember he's an ass and discard any concern on his behalf. He can handle himself and if he gets a little roughed up by Gamzee then that's just punishment for getting you all into this mess. Yep, no concern on his part. None whatsoever...  
  
Ok, you're a little worried. Gamzee looked ready to pail you and rip your head off at the same time. If Eridan doesn't swallow his pride and run he's a dead troll, that or he follows his reputation of murdering friends. Still, you weren't going back there. You jog back to camp and you're just mildly breathless. You hope there are still some people left that need help. Healing someone will certainly take your mind off of your worries. Unfortunately for you, you arrive at the crash site to see every troll and human well and cleaned up. Seems someone has been busy. Equius lumbers over to your side like a lonely woofbeast that longs for a companion, with the healifyer in hand.   
  
"Welcome back Vantas. I took it upon myself to heal our friends." He said with a proud and holey grin. You scowl in disgust and walk past him. What did he want; fucking praise? He took your distraction, the selfish bastard. No, that was horrible. It's selfish of you to demean him when he wasn't the one ditching his savior with a crazy lunatic. If it was Nepeta back there he wouldn't have even ran. Wait, what are you saying? You don't have any feelings for Ampora; fuck him! You look around for someone who isn't busy and Jade is the closest person to you. She is just sitting under a tree looking very troubled and thoughtful. You decide to recruit her to pick up Eridan's pieces.   
  
"Hey, Jade human." You call out. She doesn't reply. She just keeps staring at nothing with empty eyes.   
  
"Perhaps she is sleeping?" Equius suggests.  
  
"Her eyes are fucking open moron. Go pester someone else!" You flap your hand at him angrily. It takes a second but he eventually takes a hint and leaves. You sigh and pinch the bridge of your nose, which is aching from your constantly drawn brow. "Hey human!" You try again, this time adding in a kick at her shoe to gain her attention. She looks up this time but her expression is completely lost.  
  
"What?" She whispers in a tiny voice.  
  
"Ampora's in the forest, not too far from here. Go get him." You point off in the direction you just came from. She squints her eyes at you and presses her mouth into an unhappy line. Oh great someone else is going to argue with you. To your surprise she gets up and leaves without a word. Thank fucking god SOMEONE listens to you. One of your best fucking friends is finally awake and well so you intrude on his feelings jam with Feferi because you really needed to talk to him; flippy fins could wait.  
  
 **\-- > Be Jade**  
  
Sure! It's nice to be awake, at last! You take a deep, satisfying breath of clean air. Your lungs swell to a long forgotten volume. It reminds you of the air on the island. There must be water nearby because you can taste that distinct crispness on your tongue. Where did Karkat say Eridan was? You continue walking in the basic direction that Karkat pointed you in. Why did Eridan need an escort anyways? You're sure he can handle himself. Dead twigs of all kinds of colours snap and crackle under your shoes. Your tuned senses hear small creatures rustling around in bushes around you and somewhere in the direction of the river, Gamzee is honking his horn. You proceed to enjoy the peaceful scenery and search for any alien animals in the trees. You get a little off track and wander around, lost in this confusing forest.  
  
"I passed this blue tree like three times I swear!" You assure yourself. You take a stick to carve a mark into the tree but just before you do a sickly cough comes from your right.  
  
"Eridan?" You call out. An animal whimpers in the distance and your dog ears perk up to the sound. Eridan could wait until you helped the poor thing. You stepped through a bush, pursed your lips and blew through them to whistle.   
  
"C'mere boy...or girl." You remember Bec and how he would always come running when you called him like this. it makes you stop and just ponder the sadness dwelling at the pit of your stomach. Your gaze falls down sullenly and in doing so you see you're standing in a shallow puddle of purple liquid. Another whimper is not far off. You follow the trail of purple right to its source. In a small clearing trees are splattered with a lighter purple. Trunks are carved out in three perpendicular lines and a pungent mixture of purple and the darker purple is sprinkled over the grass. Off against a tree a quivering purple sack is huddled. You slowly approach it though the area makes you wary and slightly nauseous.  
  
"Hello? I'm not going to hurt you..." You call out softly so as not to scare the blob. Upon closer inspection the sack that covers the form is torn and dirty. You reach out to pull the worn fabric off.  
  
"STOP!" The mass yells. The purple fabric tugs tighter around the form and it curls around the tree.  
  
"Eridan?" You ask. The purple splatters now look a great deal more gruesome than before. It's quiet for a moment so you ask again. "Eridan is that you? Are you ok?"  
  
"Go awway." His accent tips it off that it's him.   
  
"Eridan get out from under there! Karkat needs you!"  
  
"Kar can stick a wwad of grubdung right up his ass. I ain't goin back!" His voice is a lot more wavey sounding than you thought. It was really exotic sounding. If only he didn't say such douchy stuff.  
  
"Eridan come on!" You insist.  
  
"Fuck off! Leavve me alone, filthy human!" On a normal occation you would have just left his rude ass and went back to your friends but you were having none of his shit this time. You already had John dealing with his emotional baggage you couldn't have Eridan weighing you down too. It was time for some tough love. You grab a handful of Eridan's cape and forcefully yank him from his cocoon. You immediatly wish you hadn't though. Eridan rolls onto his back and sits up in a last second attempt to save his cape and you could see he was completely naked except for his scarf which he brought both hands up to cling to. Deep scratch marks laced his chest and legs which still dripped with purple blood. The scenery suddenly became a **lot** more of a horrendous nightmare to behold.   
  
"Oh my god..." He stared down with wet eyes that were still leaking purple tears down his face. He wiped his nose and pulled his legs up to hide himself.  
  
"C-can I havve my cape back?" It would have been cruel to keep it from him. You hand him his cape back and he snatches it from your hands. Eridan wraps himself with the dirty cloak and then curls down in utter shame of himself, like a kicked puppy. He mutters a thanks very quietly.  
  
"What happened to-"   
  
"Stop. Just drop it okay?" His voice was deflated and tired. It was heartbreaking to listen to.   
  
"Ok...come on i'll take you back." You reach out to lift him up. You get your hands on his shoulders and then Eridan violently slaps your hands away.  
  
"STOP!" He yells and his eyes bug out with terror. The fins on his neck are flared out as well. You step back and hold your hands up defensively.  
  
"Ok. Ok calm down." He wheezes a few times and then breaks down crying into his knees. You smooth your skirt under your knees and kneel down in front of him. You exersize your patience and wait for him to calm down. At last when his sobs have subsided you speak up.  
  
"Eridan?" He turns his head up at you and his eyes are the most brillient hue of purple. The yellow sclera was this muddy green colour with a brilliant pop of purple circling his black pupil. It shimmered like a gem against the sunlight.   
  
"Wwhat? If you're goin to pity me, than savve it. I don't need your fuckin sympathy human!" He glared right at you but the way his lower lip shook and his fins drooped so blearily made you think otherwise. He was just too humiliated to reach out.   
  
"Eridan shut up! I'll get you back to camp without anyone seeing us, don't worry!" You saw the appriciation in the twitch of his lip going upward.   
  
"I'm going to touch you now ok?" You tell him, slowly reaching out to prepare him for contact. He eyes your hands suspiciously but doesn't flip out when you touch his shoulders. It's hard to get him stable on his torn up legs but he manages with some tender patience. Eridan tugs his cape around his naked body and you let him lean on you as you walk around to the back of the crash site.  
  
 **\-- > Be Kanaya**  
  
You groggily agree that being Kanaya would be the best course of action right now. With a dainty yawn you sit upright and respectably smooth out your skirt. Your back feels an unwelcome breeze but you can't seem to turn your head enough to see it. You bend your arm back enough to tap at your lower back with the tips of your fingers. The frayed, teared fabric of your shirt causes you to swoon with dread. Luckily, Rose is as your side to catch you. You smile fondly at her and enjoy her solid embrace. You only remember the swirl of lust and blood resonating within you right before an agonizing pain up your spine and a horrible crash. Your surroundings are completely alien to you but you hope Rose can shed some light on the situation.   
  
"How are you feeling Kanaya?" She asks while leaning over to see your face.  
  
"I am well, thank you Rose." You reply quietly, a little distracted by the soothing beat of her heart in your ear.  
  
"You scared me a bit back there. You were terribly torn up from the crash." She says and gives you a little squeeze.   
  
"The crash? Rose please tell me what has happened in my unconsciousness." You ask, pulling yourself from Rose's bosom to look her in the eyes.  
  
"Well, the meteor crashed into this planet. Everyone is alright after some healing." Rose said lightly. Her smile eased your worries a bit.  
  
"I see...where is Karkat?" You ask her in hopes of a more in depth status report.  
  
"Am I not good enough for you?" She asks coyly with a cute little smirk.   
  
"Of course you are, Rose! Forgive me but I need to see him for a moment." You place your hand atop her's and lean in to kiss her lips. She pulls away from you and you quickly take your leave before any furthar awkwardness occurs. Karkat seems to be busily warding off a confused crowd of people but you take precedence in this situation.   
  
"Karkat may I monopolize a moment of your time?" You say while pushing past Equius and Sollux.  
  
"Oh fucking fantastic. You're JUST who I want to see right now!" He rolls his eyes back and scowls.  
  
"Well thank you Karkat. It is flattering to know you need me."   
  
"I was being sarcastic. Geez, one would be led to believe you had become fluent; what with you courting Lalonde. Your cheeks feel warm which accompanies a clenching in your stomach.  
  
"Her and I are not a thing Karkat. Anyways I wish to talk to you about today's events." His eyes bulge out and he squirms with suspiciously uncomfortable vigor.   
  
"Of course you would find out by now miss busybody! Look keep your huge honker out of this!! For once quit meddling with shit that isn't about you!" He snapped. Karkat stormed off towards the river with Sollux lagging behind him. Hmm...Karkat seems incredibly defensive. He is much more moody than usual. This is definetly worth some investigation. No one is keeping your nose out of _this_ business.


	5. The Prospect of Manbabies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kanaya goes snooping, Eridan and Jade strike a deal, Dave gets trolled, and John gets some...sort of.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not much to say this time. This chapter was fun. I've been waiting to write it for a bit. Please don't feel shy about commenting and telling me how you feel about my story. Your feedback is what will help me improve my work! :D

**\-- > Be The Meddlesome Busybody**  
  
You are now Kanaya Maryam and you are hot on the trail of some juicy happenings. Karkat has been acting very strangely ever since his return from the forest. He has obviously hinted to some guilt pressing on his conscience when he lashed out at you. It is your duty to find out the cause, for the good of the group; and also for your own curiosity. The first thing you set out to do is get some answers from the source. You hope Karkat will co-operate and save you the trouble of snooping. The subject is inside the remains of your hive, looting it for any useful technology or precious items that are not horribly destroyed. The breeze bites at your back, mockingly reminding you of your tattered clothing, as you climb the small hill the meteor had become. A change in wardrobe was certainly in order, immediately  You search your sylladex for a suitable ensemble but nothing seems durable enough for your current quest. A green dress sits in its card, calling to you. Ignoring practicality you put the dress on and enter through the gaping hole that was once a door. Karkat is just leaving the computer room with arms overflowing with computers and their respective cords.   
  
"Karkat can we talk?" You inquire, even offering your arms out to take a load from his hands.  
  
"No, we can't talk! As you can see I'm incredibly busy and I have absolutely no time at all for idle pleasantries". He shoves his way past you and shuffles out in a hurry.   
  
"Kk thlow down!!" Sollux calls as he steps into the hall with the remaining computers; Each one suspended in one large glowing mass behind him.  
  
"Oh Sollux! Sollux a moment of your time please!" You cut him off before he can escape and then you close in on him.   
  
"Uhh thorry KN i'm kind of buthy here." he tries to step around you but he isn't getting away until you get answers.  
  
"It will only take a moment I promise you. I just wish to ask about Karkat." Sollux slouches over in resignation and heaves a defeated sigh.   
  
"Fiiiine, what ith it?" He lowers his hands to waist level but doesn't stop holding the computers up.  
  
"Firstly, you have noticed Karkat's strange behavior right?"   
  
"Ohh I thee. You're meddling in thomething again. Th, Th, KN you really thould thay out of buthineth that doethn't involve you." You assume those awkward 'Th' noises was Sollux trying to go 'tsk'.  
  
"Yes and you should really consider trying to make a noise your crooked teeth can maneuver before scolding someone." Sollux takes it in good spirit and smirks.  
  
"Yeah i've notithed it. What do you want to know?" Success!  
  
"Did Karkat confide in you the reason for his current stress? Or perhaps his warrant for lashing out at me?" Sollux unfolds his arms and shrugs.  
  
"I don't know...He didn't thay anything exactly but he was grumbling about Ampora a lot when we got in here. Might be benefithial to athk him about thith." You see his lips curl back with amusement at your scowl.  
  
"I'd rather not have to endure his company right now."   
  
"Well too bad KN. If you're thith thet on meddling you'll have to pry it from douchefinth." With nothing more to say he steps around you and leaves the hive, chuckling at your misfortune the entire way. Drat!   
  
 **\-- > Remember why you hate Eridan.**  
  
The thick, circular, ugly green scar that dominates your abdomen is a constant reminder of that. You aren't a very forgiving person, especially when you are left with such gruesome marks to recall the incident that coaxes your grudge. It always scares you when Rose touches your stomach. You worry she'll feel the scar and become repulsed by you. She's already so closed off and nervous around you as it is. You don't want this scar to be the one thing that drives her away for good.  
  
 **\-- > Go Talk To Eridan**  
  
Unfortunately, that is what you have to do to solve this mystery. You climb down from the meteor and go off to the river to inquire about Eridan. Knowing him, he's probably at the river anyways.    
  
When you emurge from the thick brush and step into the clearing you are disappointed to find Eridan is missing. You ask Feferi, Rose, and Equius if they have seen him but they all prove useless to your hunt. The walk back to the camp is a disheartening one. Ampora is proving harder to locate than you first thought and you are beginning to wonder if finding him will even bear the fruits of truth you desire. A new crowd has gathered in the site during your absence  Dave, John, Terezi, Nepeta, and Vriska are all casually chatting each other up in front of the meteor. You sneak your way into the group and wait for your moment to speak.  
  
"How have you nefur tried Faygo befur, Dave?" Nepeta asks, nudging her hand behind her right horn and then licking the back of her hand to do it again.  
  
"I'm just not a fan of shitty sodas...No big deal." Dave shrugs nonchalantly.  
  
"The red kind isn't that bad!" Terezi giggles and loudly licks her lips with a hungry grin.  
  
"Apple juice for me, all the way." Dave shrugs again and then slouches over with a hand resting in his pocket. There is a moment of silence which you take to strike.  
  
"Hello everyone!" They all turn their attentions to you. "I was wondering if any of you had seen Eridan?" They all look sort of lost, or confused.  
  
"Eridan? Why are you looking for him?" The John human asks, peeking over the side of the Strider human's body.   
  
"He knows something and I _must_ get answers from him."   
  
"By the way you're being so vague am I right to assume you won't tell us what?" Vriska shoots in.  
  
"Yes, you would be right on that." You were nosy  not a blabbermouth. You would not gossip mindlessly until you had all the facts, and certainly not with her. Vriska huffs and crosses her arms.  
  
"I haven't seen him." She growls.  
  
"I haven't seen him eifur!" Nepeta adds. Dave and John add a negative shake of their heads to your inquiry.   
  
"IIII saw him~." Terezi says, and then laughs.  
  
"Really?! Where?" Finally a lead!   
  
"Kanaya, I am blind. I can't see. How could I have seen him?" Her face goes deadpan and your stomach drops.  
  
"O-oh...right. My apologies." You hang your head, berating yourself for falling so easily into her ploy. You are ready to give up with them.  
  
"I did smell him though!" She chuckles and, again, you get your hopes up.  
  
"Honestly? You aren't joking this time?" She looks pretty sincere. Or at least pretty content.  
  
"Yep! On the way back here I caught a whiff of some serious royal grape on the wind."   
  
"Oh? Was that what you perked up to back there?" Vriska pipes in.  
  
"Terezi where was he headed?" You don't care about their walk here. The thrill of the chase is luring you in and it is too intoxicating to stop now.  
  
"Umm..." Terezi taps a finger onto her chin in thought. "I think he was headed back here...but more down. Towards the bottom of the site."   
  
"Thanks." You hurry along into the brush of trees with a skip to your step. Karkat couldn't keep you from figuring this out. Just a few steps into the forest is all it takes for you to see the edge of Eridan's cape sticking out behind a tree in the distance.  
  
"Eridan! May I speak to you?" The cape pulls away, behind the tree. "Eridan!" You step forward and suddenly your body is slammed with a heavy weight.   
  
"Owch! Sorry!" The Jade human slumps against your chest.  
  
"It is alright but I don't have much time. Please excuse me." You politely move her off of you and try to go after Ampora.  
  
"Wait!!" She grabs your arm and halts your pursuit. She is purposely trying to delay you.  
  
"I don't have time for this Jade human. I'm sorry."  
  
"No! You're looking for Eridan right? We were looking for you too! Can you do us a favor?" You lift your brow curiously at her request.  
  
"What do you need?"  
  
"Um...can you make an outfit for Eridan?" She asks while digging her toe into the dirt, presumably trying to dislodge something from the ground as she is so transfixed on it and not you.  
  
"An outfit? Does he need a LARPing costume?"   
  
"No...ummm darn. He just needs like, a normal outfit." On a different occasion you would have declined, considering the grudge you harbor for Ampora but this request could prove very useful to you.  
  
"Alright," You pause and just before you bring up your own request she jumps.  
  
"Yeah! Thanks Kanaya!"  
  
"If," You wait this time to make sure she hears you. Her excitement falls to cautious concern.  
  
"If what?"  
  
"I am looking for information about Karkat. I have been told by a trustworthy source that Eridan knows the reason for his, pardon the term, crabbiness."  
  
"Can I talk to him first?" She asks, glancing back into the forest.  
  
"Why can't he just come out? What do you two have to hide?" Your feet move of their own accord towards the tree you suspect Eridan is hiding behind. Jade jumps in front of you and holds her arms out.  
  
"Because!" There is a long silence as she glances around erratically.  
  
"Because, why?" Your patience is wearing thin.   
  
"Becaaaause...he's naked!"   
  
"Pardon?"   
  
"JADE!"   
  
"Eridan come out and quit this foolishness!"  
  
"No really! He lost his clothes...they got all torn up and that's why he needs new ones! He'll tell you what you want to know once you make the clothes!"   
  
"Is that a promise? Eridan?" The forest is silent, the tweeting and chatters of wildlife excluded.   
  
"We promise!" Jade says, with a big smile. A little too big to be trustworthy. She senses your hesitation. "We promise." She nods and eases her smile to be more relaxed.   
  
"Alright. Where shall I go to give it to him?"   
  
"Down the river. Follow it to the right!" You nod and turn around, though you are still very curious about Eridan. You will get all your answers once you finish his outfit, which sounds like a lovely activity to get your mind off of things. As you leave you pick up hushed bickering behind you. They had better keep up their part of the deal. You have a lot of pent up aggression to release.  
  
 **\-- > Be The Other Guy**  
  
There's plenty of other guys. In fact there's more than plenty. There's a bunch. Which is unarguably more than plenty. Out of all those other guys who did you mean to become? How is one to properly single out the one guy of which you intended to be when you are so vauge  Perhaps you intended to be sent off to a random guy, or you might have forgotten his name? Have no fear for you will be sent to just the guy you desired to become. That very exact guy. You will be him. The poor sap that has been neglected and forgotten and beaten. Right now.   
  
 **\-- > Be That Guy**  
  
You are now Tavros Nitram. You have been forgotten, alone and ignored for a long time now. You are still sitting against the same tree you were sitting by before. You haven't moved at all. Standing up is proving to be difficult. Your legs aren't broken anymore but they still feel weak since they haven't been used in so long. They are gangly and thin and weak. You had hoped someone would notice you sitting alone and come your aid but everyone who has passed you by hasn't even notice you. Where is Gamzee when you needed him? Sure he is scary and obviously psychotic but when he isn't trying to murder everyone he gives some nice comfort hugs.   
  
"You look pitiful." Just some conversation from the group standing in the middle of the clearing. "Deaf too? I'm talking to you here." To your surprise, Dave Strider is standing in front of you. "Hellooo? Earth to Bullguy." He tilts his head at you.   
  
"Uh, hey there." You say quietly and fumble with your fingers in the dirt.  
  
"You're still sitting here. Why haven't you moved?"   
  
"I don't know. I just am."   
  
"That doesn't seem comfortable."  
  
"It isn't."  
  
"So why are you just sitting."  
  
"I can do what I want."  
  
"Oh badass man. Watch out guys, Tavros is growing a pair."   
  
"Uhh...what?"  
  
"Oh right you trolls probably don't have balls."  
  
"Balls? Like the spherical bouncing device?"   
  
"Sort of except not at all. They're these sacks under our man parts."   
  
"Why do you have sacks there?" You can only imagine weird pouches protruding from Dave's hips. You hope it isn't actually like that.  
  
"Well..." He pauses and his lip twitches up a bit, "They're where we hold our babies. Human males store our young in our balls and when we have sex with a female they get us pregnant. We get huge junk for a few weeks then we have sex with the chick again and shoot the fetus baby inside of her for the rest of the growing. If you don't do it right the fetus just pops out it's all gross and slimy and dies." That is the single most horrifying thing you have ever heard.  
  
"Uhh...wow that sounds horrible."   
  
"That isn't even the worst part. Then there's child support and if you have twins, ah man you'd be about to explode." You don't want to think about this. No. This is gross. No more.  
  
"I don't want to talk about this anymore."  
  
"Suit yourself man but if we end up having to repopulate together i'd totally be down with shooting my human fetus inside of you." You feel your insides clench with unpleasant repulsion.   
  
"Please stop it!" Even covering your ears doesn't help because you can still sort of hear him. Something lands on your head and makes you look up.  
  
"Don't be afraid to talk to us. We're not as bad as you think. We won't bite if you wanna rap. I'd be down to shoot off some fires." That is surprising. Dave takes his hand off the strip of hair on your head and smirks.  
  
"Oh...alright!" You feel oddly happy, though still repulsed and uncomfortable. It's a weird combination. "And if we do end up filling a quadrant I'd love to eat your fetus with you."  
  
"Uh, what?"  
  
"Didn't you know? Trolls eat our young to tie two of us together in a quadrant. Like a ceremony. We can eat it together for that 'matrimony' thing you were talking about!" His body slumps and his mouth quivers like he's trying to resist opening it. You get the energy to stand and pat his shoulder.  
  
"Looking forward to it, bro!" You awkwardly waddle off on your weak legs, feeling victorious and pretty damn confident.  
  
 **\-- > Be Dave**  
  
You will never be able to get that image out of your mind. Do trolls actually do that? Holy shit that's disgusting. You can't imagine eating your own babies and finding that kinky enough to fuck after it. He must have been trolling you. But Tavros is notoriously bad at trolling. You hope that he suddenly got really good at it and that is what you will take comfort in. Ha ha, good one Tavros. He got you good.

 **\-- > Apologize to Karkat**  
  
Why should you apologize? You didn't do anything to him; Well nothing that would warrant an apology.  
  
 **\-- > Apologize To Karkat**  
  
Yeah, you were thinking about that. He seemed really mad when you pushed him into the river. Then again it was just a prank. As a Master Prankster you have an obligation to back up your pranks 100%. You aren't going to apologize but you will go find him and see if he's calmed down. You are John by the way, just in case that wasn't clear.   
  
 **\-- > Go Find Karkat**  
  
You are doing that right this very moment. He isn't in the building/house-thing anymore but a very well dressed Kanaya quickly mentions him moving the computers out of the meteor house, in passing. You ask her where he would be storing them and she flippantly waves towards the opposite side of the forest, opposite the river just before disappearing into the meteor-house.   
  
 **\-- > Go To That Place Just Opposite Of The River**  
  
Sheesh that was a word full but alright. You slowly make your way over to that area, to give Karkat some time to calm down. While you're walking, your mind begins to wander. You think about that time with Dave earlier. You think about the way he turned away from you when he got naked but you totally snuck a peek at his butt. Dave has a nice butt. It's like a girl's butt, except it's on a dude. You're starting to see that guys and girls aren't terribly different and that dicks totally shouldn't scare you because you have one. You wonder what a Troll dick looks like. They call it a bone bulge so maybe it's just like a human dick? It kind of sounds like a boner. All this thought about men parts has gotten you a little excited and your loose fitting pajama pants are showing the slightest hint of a tent. You force your thoughts away from that dirty image before you pop a full one and focus on walking. It's incredibly awkward because you've been getting stiff pretty often recently and sometimes you aren't even thinking about sex. You wish your dad was here to talk to about these things. You think it's too awkward to bring up around anyone else. They probably wouldn't understand since the majority of dudes there are aliens and the one other guy has it so together he has probably never gotten hard without wanting to. That gets you thinking. Mm, Dave's butt has little freckles on it. So does his shoulders and cheeks. It's kind of cute looking. It doesn't suit his cool kid attitude.  
  
"HEY ASSLICKER!" Karkat's screeching holler breaks you from your trance about your best bro. You look up to see his tiny frame stomping over to you with eyes aflame for vengeance.  
  
"Oh hey Karkat!" You wave to him merrily.   
  
"Don't you 'hey Karkat' me you sludge guzzling nooksniffer!" He growls, stopping to glare at you just under your nose.   
  
"Would you prefer something else? Like maybe: Hey fudgebottom! Or Hello sugartart!" Karkat's lower lid twitches on his right eye.  
  
"What the _fuck_ are you talking about?! Nevermind, Egbert I got a bone to pick with you!" He stabs at your chest with a sharp, sort of stumpy finger which pricks at your skin with the sharpness of a pin.   
  
"Uhh, look Karkat it was just a joke! Take it in good stride would you?" You try to back off the subject of his rage and also declaw your shirt but Karkat advances even more angrily.  
  
"A joke?! Ha fucking ha Egbert, king of the moronic chucklefucks! What a truly hilarious jape. You sure got me there. Never you mind the potential illness I could have been suscepted to from my cold and shivering state or even the fact that your prank is just another tier on the echeladder of how shitty my day has been. It isn't like this planet could host any sort of terminal bacteria just waiting outside the toll booth of my immune system for discount day where everyone and their grubs gets in free!" He repeatedly stabs at your chest and now it's really starting to hurt. You try and brush his hand off but he just takes that as a retaliation and proceeds to shove you back.   
  
"Ow! Karkat stop it! I was kidding! You don't have to be such a downer all the time!" His eyes flash with such intense hatred that you almost feel his mere gaze is still stabbing you, but in his mind; a lot harder.  
  
"A downer?! Oh no way I'm the fucking hippest meowbeast of the whole crew! Better change my name to Coolkat cause I am just full to bursting with your human SWAGGER!"   
  
"Uhh, Karkat it's swag...and don't use that term it's kind of lame. In fact that entire speech just now was really stupid"   
  
"This coming from the asshat who daily found new ways of royally fucking up both of our sessions with his innumerable sense of incomprehensible stupidity! Oh how fucking RICH! Man oh man John you sure got me there! What a jokester! We should call you Jokes Egderp!" Karkat loosely resembles a cross between a fish and a severely pissed off cat. His eyes are wide and bulging and his mouth repeatedly just flops open and closed but his teeth are gnashing and you swear he growled at you a moment ago. He has this angry red vein bulging out from his temple that looks about ready to pop.  
  
"Um...Karkat is that just something you do in your free time? Make really terrible nicknames for us all?" He isn't laughing at your joke. If anything, it just makes him more angry. You see Sollux in the background just shaking his head at you as he leaves the battlefield. You are too distracted to see that right hook smashing into your cheek. Your clumsy feet slip and wobble under your awkward body before just sweeping up to the sky and flipping you down to the ground. You land on your shoulder with a hard thud and man does your face hurt now.   
  
 **\-- > Fight Back**  
  
You are trying! Karkat is slowly making his way over to you, a surprisingly large amount of muscle flexing under his sleeves. He grabs a fistful of your shirt and drags you back up to your feet.  
  
"That hurt you dickface!" You shout and shove him back from you. His eyes are momentarily wider than previously thought possible. He lunges at you with the ferocity of an angry tiger. You flinch back and shut your eyes. Your shirt is tugged forward once again. You blindly push your hands against Karkat's shoulders to get him off and then he kisses you.   
  
The shock and confusion that comes after leaves you unable to move your limbs. You squint open your eyes and see Karkat's grey eyelids are squeezed shut like he's in pain. His lips are harshly smooshed against yours and the strong bumps of his fangs are forcing your lips back. The kiss seems to go on forever with no one doing anything. You pull back and see that Karkat has released your shirt. He stares at you with a much calmer look on his face. He actually looks kind of sorry or nervous. Silence looms in the air for more than a comfortable amount of time. Karkat finally clears his throat and says something.  
  
"So..."  
  
"So..." You reply, like a genius.  
  
"What do you think?" He asks.  
  
"It was a kiss."  
  
"I am aware of that, captain dipshit I meant what do you think of us?" He lifts his eyebrows hopefully for your answer.  
  
"Uhm...," You don't know what to say. Here is Karkat, making an advance at you for the second time since you met him. You had been more than excited to be with someone just a few minutes before but now the thought of being with a guy is scaring you. The hesitation is killing him, you can tell by the way he is shifting around on his feet and tugging on the bottom of his shirt, "Am I right to assume that you want to be hatemantic with me?" He nods and his gaze is as piercing as he is temperamental.   
  
"Well...I'm sorry Karkat but I've never been with anyone before, let alone an alien troll." Karkat's eyes hollow out with sadness. He slouches over and looks down.  
  
"Oh..." He mumbles in a broken voice, "That's fine John. Don't worry about it. Just forget that this ever happened." He puts his foot out to turn and you reach out for his shoulder.  
  
"Well wait! I just don't want to do the hate stuff...but we could 'experiment' if you want to." Karkat turns back to you though his face is twisted incredulously.  
  
"Experiment? What the fuck sort of poisonous garbage is intoxicating your ugly red blood?"   
  
"Nothing! Hear me out Karkat! We don't know how to have sex with each other yet so why rush right to the end? Let's take it slow before we decide we want to do this."  
  
"I already know I want to do this! I wouldn't make a pass at you if I wasn't certain that this is something I want!"  
  
"C'mon Karkat try and be more culturally sensitive. Humans usually go on long dates and know each other for a really long time before fucking each other and going into a relationship. We take things slow! I'm just learning about my interest in dudes so let's just fool around a bit before we decide we're going to go full out hate sex." This sounds so ridiculous but you want this. You don't want all of this but a taste will hopefully quell your curiosity.  
  
"I don't 'fool around' John. I am not some wish-y washy quadrant hopper just looking for a good time! I actually want a committed relationship!" Karkat's face is going a little red. His ranting is more adorable than intimidating. You walk over to him and put your hands on his face. That shuts him up pretty quickly. His mouth slowly closes until it's just barely parted. His eyes are huge and oddly glossy. You lean in to kiss him but Karkat inches back with uncertainty. It makes you feel like a total dick for doing this with him but if you ended up liking this you'd totally be hate boyfriends with him so it's okay. You press past his anxious hesitation right to his lips. Karkat makes a soft little whimper into your mouth and his eyes slide shut. His lips are kind of thin and hard. Oh wait, no he just wasn't kissing back. His lips are surprisingly soft against yours now. There's a tiny quiver going against your lips which is just precious because Karkat is shaking like a puppy. You put your hands on his hips so your stable fingers will steady his trembling. He wraps his arms up around your neck which just pushes your faces tighter together. The moment feels so right. It isn't like Karkat's a boy or a girl. He's just Karkat. You can't tell the difference between him and a girl and that's good. His hips are a little rounded under his shirt but the clothing bunches aggravatingly to impede your touch. The kiss is broken for only a moment and you both open your eyes to look at the other. There's a silent moment of a high where your head is spinning and your stomach is aflutter. Karkat nudges his head at yours and you happily greet his lips in another smooch. Tiny bumps rise against the tips of your fingers as they venture under the hem of the troll's shirt. The body that is curved against your own arches into you. It's all so real, so natural. This is far better than anything you could ever imagine. Karkat has a slender dip in his back that nests your fingers perfectly. His back is covered in small, soft bumps wherever your hands go. He mumbles a quiet shudder in his throat and pulls back. You are entranced by the taste and heat of his lips and chase after him, molding together the perfect puzzle pieces of your mouths once again. His arms tighten around your neck and your bodies somehow meld closer together. Your arms snake all the way around his thin back and enclose him securely. This is so simple but somehow your chest feels so light and yet so full. It's pounding softly under the noises of Karkat's enjoyment. Hips bump together and you feel the telltale hardness of just how much Karkat is enjoying this kiss. This time _you_ pull away, with a little difficulty because Karkat is clinging so tightly to you that there is barely any room to move back.  
  
"Karkat.." You say in a tiny, slightly breathy voice.  
  
"Hmm?" He looks up at you with dazed eyes, heavily lidded with calm contentment.   
  
"You getting a little hot down there?" You try and be subtle so he doesn't get embarrassed.  
  
"What the fuck-" His senses are slowly returning to him and it doesn't take long for him to jump back. "Oh shit! I'm sorry Egbert I didn't mean to...this is just fooling around I get it! I don't want to pail you or anything!" His entire face harbors a red undertone which is so flushed it makes you laugh.  
  
"It's okay Karkat! Calm down! It happens to everyone, don't worry about it." Karkat's initial panic melts away to relief though he still looks a little sheepish.  
  
"Yeah...I can see that." He looks away and smirks. What did he mean by that? You look down, wondering if it is your clothes and see a substantially large tent pitched in your pants. Your loose fitting pajama bottoms are nothing more than a sail to the raising mast of your sex drive. Let fly the flag of sexual arousal. You envy Karkat with his tight jeans because his boner is hardly noticeable. God this is awkward.  
  
"O-oh fuck!" Trying to push your junk down is just making the sight even more awful. Karkat walks over and holds a hand just above your crotch.  
  
"It's fine John," He pauses and glances up at you, "Can I see it?" He looks down at your pants, like he is captivated by the mysterious human parts you host. Suddenly, you become nervous. What if you're not big enough? You've heard that big penises are ideal and yours is probably average, or even below such. What if he laughs or is disgusted by your human business.  
  
"Can I see yours first? Since you started this." Karkat scowls slightly but begins undoing his pants. You reach out and take his hand away. You want to do it. You're curious and eager to try all these things yourself. The idea of undressing someone is so sexy, or at least you have often imagined it is. Karkat loosely drapes his arms over your shoulders and looks down while your hands shakily work at undoing his pants. When the snap of his trousers finally undoes you see the needy bulge pushing against his underwear. A strangled groan escapes his throat when your hand caresses the thick fabric covering his warmth. You nudge against it and his troll junk seems to curl right into your palm. The curiosity is overwhelming. You dive your hand into his underwear and are greeted by a sticky, thick mass. It throbs against your skin and Karkat moans aloud, his nails digging into your shoulders. You slide your hand down the underside of his shaft, his underwear sliding down with your hand, though Karkat's meek and flustered face captures your full attention. He looks so beautiful; For a dude. Even for a dude he's incredibly exotic looking. Karkat breathes thickly and shuts his eyes, a charming red dusting over his cheeks.   
  
"John..." He nudges his hips closer to your hand and a needy tendril curls around your wrist.   
  
Wait...  
  
 _What?_  
  
 **\-- > Get The Fuck Out Of There**  
  
How can you be expected to get out of there when you're already gone? Nope. Nope. Nope nope nope nope. You are gone. More than gone. You're super gone. You are never fucking a dude. **ESPECIALLY** not a troll dude. It's chicks only from here on out. Vaginas and boobs are what you're going after from here onward. You won't even think about dudes anymore. You aren't going to test your curiosity anymore. If anything you might never have any form of sex ever again. None. Not at all. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope.


	6. For the shadows

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eridan cries a lot, Equius is neglected, Kanaya is the master of stealth, and Terezi sleeps.

Your name is John Egbert and you are not a homosexual. This has been stated before, obviously, but for some reason it has not passed properly into a certain troll's memory canals. Ok, so you totally kissed him back but if you had known for even a second that he had a creepy tenta-bonebuldge-thing you would have never dared to touch him. Now if you don't mind, which you certainly do, you would like to go find your best bro and be alone with him for a while.  
  
 **\-- > Stop being John.**  
  
You have already stopped being John. You are now a horribly wounded Karkat. Wounded not in the sense of a physical misery but more so a crippling stab in your pride. Just moments prior you made a hate-mantic advance towards the human epitome of your caliginous affections. It was going great, beyond great considering his limited understanding of troll romances and the cultural boundaries until he put his hands down your pants. That is when everything went right down the shit hole and globbed onto the cascading pile of garbage that was your day.  
  
"How'd it go KK? Did you thcore thome thweet alien athh?" Sollux asks, nudging your shoulder and repeatedly raising his eyebrows with douchy suggestiveness.  
  
"No I did not score even a single iota of egbert's choice backside. I didn't even get to see his human...parts for lack of a less awkward term." Sollux clicked his tongue and put a heavy arm around your shoulders.  
  
"Tough break KK. It'th your own fault though." You stare up at him with utter shock and irritance.   
  
"Do explain how my brutally mutilated blood pusher is my own fault!" You demand.  
  
"You knew the John human wath not like uth. He doethn't go with our romantheth. He ithn't a 'homothexual'." The way he draws emphasis on 'homosexual' really peeves you. You know he's mocking you after your tragic first advance towards the hopeless human.   
  
"But that's just the thing Sollux! He kissed me back! He was totally into it and wanted to 'fool around'"   
  
"What doeth that even mean?" Sollux asks.  
  
"I don't know!" You groan weakly and slump against his side. "Why are humans so complicated?"  
  
"No idea. You created them. They're probably jutht reproductionth of your own enraging thupidity."   
  
"Oh yes how the irony gods find new ways of fucking with me by not only making me fall in caliginous affection with a form of myself but making him just as, if not more stupifyingly difficult than all of my selves combined." Sollux gives you a sympathetic pat on the back.  
  
"Hang in there KK. If you're telling the truth about John kithing you back than he'th totally interethted in you."   
  
"You think so?" The hopeful pitch to your voice makes you feel sick with yourself.  
  
"Probably."  
  
"Uncertainties will not help ease my anxiety Sollux."  
  
"Well thorry all I can predict ith when thit hith the fan tho be thankful I'm not thertain about you two." As weird as that is, that actually makes you feel better.  
  
"Yeah...Thanks Sollux!"  
  
"Any time." He pats your back firmly and then lightly smacks the back of your head.  
  
"Ow! Watch it!" You growl and whip around to bear your fangs at him.  
  
"Let'th get back to work here huh? The thooner we get the computer thation thet up the better. I don't want to chance rain frying what technology we could  have thalwaged."  
  
"Huh?"  
  
"Rain.Computerth...Thalvage.Letth go"   
  
"Right. Let's go." You walk with Sollux back to the neat circle of hubtops and human computers you two had fashioned earlier and try and forget that odd slip of the tongue there. Sollux giddily plops down in front of one of Jade's computers and begins tinkering with it. His cheeks are sharp and raised slightly in contentment. He is such a nerd.  
  
 **\-- > Be Eridan**  
  
Um, maybe this isn't the best time. Your sort of a wreak right now.  
  
 **\-- > Be Jade**  
  
It's a good thing you're here! Eridan is a mess right now and it pains you to think of what he'd be like without you to hold his hand.  
  
"I-it wwasn't ev-ven like caliginous. It wwas so...so angry an..." His voice cracks under the stress of all the crying he has been doing. He throws his face into your chest without warning and starts into another fit of sobs. You don't know what to say or how to make this all better. He's so fragile right now that anything you say could set him off horribly. You just rub his back as gently as you can and whisper an apology whenever he whimpers. Eventually he calms down to just sniffles. His body looks more purple than grey with the tears and blood and...whatever else, smeared all over him.   
  
"Eridan." You say softly and wait patiently for his reply. It takes a while. He whines and clutches your shirt. His shoulders jerk as he tries to contain his heaving cries.  
  
"Yes?" He mumbles against your breast and then nuzzles deeper into the two. The longer he stays down there the more awkward the situation becomes.  
  
"You're bleeding really badly...we should go get the healifyer." He pulls himself out of your busom and for the first time in an hour you see the wide, terrified eyes of someone who is broken.  
  
"NO!" He bursts into yet another fit of tears and you mechanically hold him and rub his back until the last hiccups subside. "I-I don't w-want his scars!" He begins to shake and breath rapidly. You can't even begin to imagine the pain he must be feeling.   
  
"Most of those cuts are deep enough to scar anyways, Eridan. You're going to bleed to death if you stay like this!"   
  
"I'm beginnin to think that wwouldn't be such a bad outcome." You grab his shoulder and squeeze it tightly which is enough to shock him terribly.  
  
"Don't you DARE talk like that Eridan! You are not going to let him beat you like that, do you hear me mister?" He looks down at his slashed legs and hums lowly, unconfidently.   
  
"Who are you?" Eridan looks up with a bewildered expression.  
  
"Wwhat?"  
  
"Who are you? You repeat, staring him down sternly.  
  
"I'm...Eridan?" He replies with uncertainty.  
  
"Eridan who?"  
  
"Eridan Ampora?" He croaks quietly.  
  
"Who?"  
  
"Eridan Ampora." He says, a little stronger this time. Cheesy as it is, it seems to work well on boosting his moral.  
  
"Right! Eridan Ampora! Where's the Eridan that wanted to kill all those landwellers in a big mass genocide and didn't care who didn't like him?"  
  
"Wwhen you say it like that I sound like a total douche." His fourlourn gaze stabs right to your heart.  
  
"Hey...look you aren't that bad Eridan. Sure you're mean and you only care about yourself but it isn't like anyone is trying to make you better."  
  
"Fef tried." He grumbles and starts picking at the scabbing gash on his knee. You slap his hand instinctively and he pulls it back with an icy look of fear.  
  
"Don't reopen them." You scold him with a sharp wag of your finger. He rolls his eyes and his fins flare out just a little. "I'm going to get the healifyer for those bigger cuts." You stand up but Eridan digs his sharp nails into the skirt of your dress.   
  
"No! I don't wwant scars! I can heal just fine wwithout it."  
  
"Do you want people seeing the cuts and wondering what happened? They'll ask! Besides some of these are't going to close on their own! They're still bleeding!" He releases your dress with a defeated whimper and slumps over onto the ground with his cape wrapped around him.   
  
"I'll be back." You assure him and walk back to the camp. You feel anxious leaving him alone but no one else knows about what happened so they wouldn't be much help. When you get back to the camp Kanaya is already there with Rose but no one else is around. She is holding a neatly folded pile of clothes that are undoubtably meant for Eridan by their royal purple hue. They both stop whatever they were talking about when you walk by. The healifyer has been negligently left on the ground next to a dark patch of brown grass. You pick it up and wipe a purple smear from the handle which only spreads more across it. You flip your hand around and gape at the mess of Eridan's blood staining your palms.   
  
"What would you need that for?" Rose's voice inquires from behind you. Shit. You turn around with a big smile on your face.  
  
"Rose! Kanaya! Nice to see you!"   
  
"Is Eridan injured? Is that how he lost his clothing?" Kanaya asks, eyeing the blood you are no doubt covered in.  
  
"N...no well yes but don't ask about it because I don't want to tell you."  
  
"Curiouser and curiouser. Why would you be hiding such a thing if it were not incredibly horrendous. Don't leave us in the dark after you solicited these clothes from Kanaya." Rose crosses her arms and breaks a crooked smirk.  
  
"Yes you did promise to tell me what I wanted to know."  
  
"It's a different thing entirely! Look I need to get back to Eridan I'll talk to you guys later." You snatch the pile of clothes from Kanaya's radiant white hands and run before they can try and coax answers out of you.   
  
"Thanks Kanaya! Cya later Rose!" You call over your shoulder and high-tail it out of there.   
  
 **\-- > Be Rose**  
  
How strange that Jade would hide something from you, especially for someone like Ampora. You don't harbor a specific grudge against him but he **did** almost kill the only alien girl capable of captivating your attention and plus he's a massive prick. You and Kanaya both agree to follow after Jade and find out what is going on. As you walk into the forest, trying to maintain an unseable distance, you become lost in the repetitive rainbow flurry of trees around you. There is no way to make high or low of where you are. You and Kanaya wander around in an endless cross country race for what feels like 15 minutes. Just as suddenly as you feel like giving up a ring of hope calls out to you. You both can hear Jade and Eridan talking somewhere nearby, and drop to the ground.  
  
"Quiet now, Rose." She whispers with a peak of excitement in her voice. You just roll your eyes and crawl ahead of her.  
  
"This isn't the first time i've had to sneak around. I am hardly an amature Kanaya." You say as you both crawl towards the source of the voices with fallen leaves and grass shuffling under your hands and knees.   
  
"Wwhat wwas that?" Eridan says sharply. You freeze cold but Kanaya bumps right into your behind.  
  
"My apologies, Rose!" She hastily whispers. You look back at her and, as quietly as you can manage, say;  
  
"Quiet, Kanaya." You love the embarassed pout she returns.  
  
"These forests have...a bunch of creatures I'm sure. Stay calm Eridan." You don't dare to move a muscle. It's tensely quiet but you know soon enough they'll relax and let their guards back down.  
  
"These fit sort a wweird Jade." Eridan says. There's shifting of heavy fabric nearby and then a sudden rip. A strangled cry comes from behind you. A few more rips and you swear Kanaya may blow a gasket.   
  
"There! All better right?"   
  
"No! Noww I look like a fuckin idiot wwho's lusus nevver taught em howw to dress!"  
  
"Be lucky you have anything at all Eridan! We can ask Kanaya to stitch up the rips."  
  
"Yeah right before she straight up culls me for rippin em in the first place."   
  
"That is an understatement." Kanaya growls. You swiftly kick back and hit her arm which effectively shuts her up.  
  
"Oh Eridan it looks fine. Here just fold this under...and put on your cape...yes like that! Fix the scarf though."  
  
"Don't touch it!"  
  
"Sheesh calm down I won't touch it okay?" Everything is silent. It's tense and far too quiet. You are unsure if they have left or if your cover has been blown. Your fears are aliviated when you hear muffled sobs nearby. At least they haven't left, though you wonder; who is crying? Kanaya crawls around you and tries to poke her head above the thick brush to see Jade and Eridan. You yank her back down just in time.  
  
"I swwear I fuckin' saww somethin' that time! I ain't crazy!" Eridan spouts loudly, his voice cracking like a pubecent teenaged boy.  
  
"I'll go look. Stay here." Jade says gently. Leaves and grass rustle closer under the sound of her footsteps. There is no where to run without being caught. You back up but Kanaya is aggrivatingly blocking your path. You repress the urge to angrily shove her aside, and sit down. You are done. You patiently wait for Jade to find you. It doesn't take her long. She strides over to you both with a purpose and pries the bushes conceiling you apart.  
  
"Can't you both keep it down? It's bad enough you followed us here but you're terrible at hiding and you're scaring Eridan!" She hisses.  
  
"My apologies for my tactless partner in stealth here." You whisper.  
  
"Yes, it is exactly my fault." She grumbles.  
  
"You're certainly improving with your sarcastic remarks Kanaya."  
  
"Why thank you Rose."   
  
"Shhhh! Go away! I'll tell you everything later just go!" Jade says, forcing herself to be quiet while swiping at you both to leave.  
  
"I'll be awaiting this with egar anticipation."  
  
"I do not think she meant you Kanaya."   
  
"Oh...but I would like to know."  
  
"She will tell me and by accociation I will tell you."   
  
"Fine, fine just scram!" Jade swats more furiously so you shuffle your way back to the camp at risk of getting her upset.  
  
 **\-- > Be the flustered lass.**  
  
Flustered is not the word you'd choose but you certainly are overwhelmed. Rose and Kanaya followed you and if Eridan finds out he'll be a mess. You also don't know how to make things better for him. Your head hurts, your scared, keeping secrets makes you anxious, and you really, really miss your dog Bec.  You walk back to him, sitting on a smooth cut rock in a torn purple shirt that once was fashioned with gold lining along the sleeve ends, shoulder creases, and waist with matching black pants that too once had golden lacing that you removed. It was too tight around his joints before with the lining but you know Kanaya did her best to suit Eridan's high standards of appearance.  
  
"Wwhat wwas there? Wwhat took you so long?" Eridan asks rapidly, anxiously glancing from the bush you just emurged from and you.   
  
"Just some little animals." You lie, which hurts to do to him.   
  
"Wwhy wwere you wwhisperin' to animals?" He pries, catching the suspicious inaccuracy of your lie.   
  
"Because I'm part dog now! I can talk to them." You say quickly. It sounds as stupid as it is unplanned.   
  
"That's wweird..." He mumbles.  
  
"Hey don't judge! You aren't part dog you don't know!" Eridan shrinks back like a scolded puppy and mumbles a meek apology. If you didn't already feel like shit you sure do now. You shouldn't be barking at a guy who just got raped. Still, you should get him back to camp soon. Hopefully he will be obliging.

**\-- > Be Terezi.**  
  
You are now Terezi Pyrope, ace attorney. After a long, grueling day in the noble pouncelor's court you scored a victory against the evil Dr. Lemonsnout and gave him the punishment he deserved. You even had a decent time with Vriska afterwards. She's still a bitch; That fact will never change. You now rest your feet up on an upturned white couch, smelling your friends busily rushing around to empty the meteor of it's home-y contents. This seems like a dumb move in your opinion since the meteor hive is still an open, safe structure that is totally livable if one can ignore the awkward tilt. You feel the couch you are resting on raise up which strikes you with immediate alarm.  
  
"Whoa! I'm sitting here!" You splay your arms out wide to stabalize yourself but end up falling onto the couch anyways.  
  
"My apologies Terezi but I was told to move the couch with or without you on it. I figured you would appriciate not having to move." Equius' breathy voice says from the back of the couch.   
  
"Well give a girl some warning next time!" You call. As Equius hobbles towards the exit. The gentle sway of his body lifting the couch up and down, just slightly, is soothing. You make no move to sit back up on the couch and instead let your eyes slide shut so you can drift off to sleep.   
  
 **\-- > Be a terribly neglected character.**  
  
You are now Equius Zahhak. The longterm absense of your moirail has left you in a state of utter desperation. The result of this foul mood is a tree you had just previously knocked down. You had not intended to but your anger had gotten the best of you. You miss Nepeta and there is no one around that you care to talk about your feelings with.   
  
"Careful now. Don't break anything serious." A light whispy voice warns. You spin around and a blur of red flutters from your peripheral vision.   
  
"Who is there?! Show yourself at once!" You command in a booming tone. The forest giggles at you from all around. A gentle jingle whirls around your head.  
  
"I am the caretaker here...in a sense and I am not going to burst any bubbles but you should probably stay calm; for your own sake." The voice sounds familiar, taunting yet comfortable as well.  
  
"What?"   
  
"Your surrounding is unstable and destruction is immenant if you continue breaking things before you have all settled in. Try not to draw attention here. You have no idea what's close by." You can't see who is speaking to you and pivoting around is making you dizzy. Your body falls like a bag of rocks, right to the ground. For a moment your rage subsides to confusion and swirling unease. Laughter akin to musical bells fades into the forest which leaves you alone once again.   
  
"Equius!" The sound of her voice brings your heart up in your chest, though you respectably hide the grin threatening to creep up your lips. "Are you ok? Why are you on the ground?" Small warm hands press against your cheeks once you sit up. You feel the anger and agression inside of you disappear to be properly filled with your moirail's presence.   
  
"I fell." You say.  
  
"I know that, silly! Why did you fall?"  
  
"I was dizzy." You will tell her about the mysterious voice at another time. For now you wrap your arms around Nepeta's thin, fragile frame with the greatest of care.  
  
"Oof! Equius is something wrong?" She pets your sweat matted hair down and begins a soothing set of vibrations against your temple.  
  
"You will not leave me alone again." You say, deeply inhaling the metalic, pungent aroma she carries on her blood stained jacket.   
  
"But I have other furrends too Equius." Tiny pin pricks of pain ease the tenseness in your back as she knowingly kneads her sharp nails into your shirt and continues her rediculous rumbling.    
  
"They are not important." You mumble into her side.  
  
"Of _horse_ they are!" Your strong uncaring demeaner splits into a wide grin. You know she feels it by the way she giggles after you smile.  
  
"Do not forget about me in your flippant tomfoolery." You want to hold her tighter and never let her go but trying this makes her muscles flex in resistance to your own as a warning your embrace would soon harm her.  
  
"I'd nefur forget about you Equius." You hate being so gentle. It hurts and you just want to punch something, to release this pent up stress building inside again. Of course Nepeta can tell by how you're slowly tightening and releasing your grip on her that you want a stronger hug. She slips her arms into your hug and her muscles tighten and flex to push against your arms. You ensnare her within your biceps. She whimpers softly but squeezes you tightly to encourage you continue until you feel better. "I'll only efur have one moirail Equius." She whispers to you and plants a feather-light kiss into your wet, greasy hair. It's all so comforting and pleasant and with two taps on the back it's over. You move back and watch her tiny body heave out a breath. She will bruise from that, surely, but you are proud to say she is strong enough to be hugged by you now,  if only when prepared first. You stand up with a renewed sense of calm. Nepeta's hand slips into your own like a glove. The two of you start to walk back to camp until you stop abruptly.  
  
"Let's stay here for a little while." You say. Nepeta turns her head and looks up at you with darling black eyes shimmering with emerald.   
  
"Okay!" She skips over to the uprooted tree that now lays across the ground and sits on its trunk. You are right behind her and it doesn't take long for you both to come back together on the ground. She wants a meowbeast-nap and you are more than happy to oblige being a sturdy surface for her to curl up with.  
  
 **\-- > Be Terezi.**

**  
**You are now Terezi.

**\-- > Dream.**  
  
What you are doing is the farthest thing from dreaming that can happen without being awake. You'd give anything to be awake right now. Anything to be blind again. You can see things, horrible monstruous things and they won't stop. All of your friends lay dead on the ground of a dark, circular platform. Their bodies are torn apart and there is brightly coloured blood of all hues splattered across every one of them. The humans are even there, brutally stabbed and sliced apart like a disturbed jigsaw puzzle. Above them all, perched on a solitary black column you see Bec Noir for the first time, a looming shadow with white eyes watching over you all menacingly, but not acting. It's like he's guarding you all from something, or less naively-  
  
 _Waiting._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've actually had this chapter on my belt for a little while now but I haven't gotten around to editing it till now. But here ya go guys! As always, feel free to comment on what I did wrong or what you liked. Your support will keep me motivated to keep this going.


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